Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Sakeyaki

Search for a member

Sakeyaki

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 September 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 51910
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About Sakeyaki : I go on here for shits and giggles.
I listen to Muse, Coldplay, Secondhand Serenade, Daft Punk, Franz Ferdinand, and Yellowcard.
I'm a senior in high school and I plan on going to college for Computer Science and MAYBE minor in web design.

And don't bother sending me shit about how you want to fuck me or how hawt I am, I'm taken. :I I get the same shit every day, kthx.

Sakeyaki's page activity

Visits<b>OwlsMakeBowels</b> - 6 hours ago<b>edenxero</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 5:03am<b>typical_bull</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 10:31pm<b>14kgold</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 10:54am<b>dmcintosh</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 5:17pm<b>Caro97songs</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 8:45am<b>choochee02</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 1:59pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:06pm<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 10:38pm<b>kells1124</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 4:15pm<b>Fiensmanland</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 9:47pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 6:21am<b>pavingboy</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 10:19am<b>ultimate41</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 7:06pm<b>Hoopachi</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 11:30pm<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 9:36pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 6:13pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:09am

Sakeyaki's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Sakeyaki's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

#8837524
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23271) - you deserved it (12278)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

#8823519
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25715) - you deserved it (2610)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:52pm - health - by GoDiarrhea (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML

#8821519
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26524) - you deserved it (6194)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:48am - intimacy - by lalararara - United States

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

#8797519
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6040) - you deserved it (21152)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML

#8793926
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32211) - you deserved it (3699)

On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44897) - you deserved it (9879)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

#8743976
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35793) - you deserved it (2384)

On 03/01/2010 at 8:17am - misc - by GuiltByTenuousAssociation (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML

#8741180
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23510) - you deserved it (7581)

On 03/01/2010 at 2:30am - intimacy - by Lovejunkie (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26492) - you deserved it (2408)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant. While we were eating, her brother who is really cute asked what "brown sauce" is. I said thats probably 'penis' sauce. I'd meant to say 'peanut sauce' but the damage was done. The entire family just stared. FML

#8658331
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12511) - you deserved it (22250)

On 02/26/2010 at 4:10am - misc - by princess4242 (woman) - India (Delhi)

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27246) - you deserved it (7073)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I lied to my crush telling him I can play the piano. To 'prove' it, I recorded a video on my phone of a girl playing a beautiful piece. After I sent it, I realized my mouse cursor was in the center of the page the entire time. FML

#8505761
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4573) - you deserved it (57035)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by Piano999 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML

Today, I went to the hospital to get my ingrown toenail removed. The doctors put me on a little surgery table and told me to relax. They then injected anesthetic into my toe four times and used a pair of scissors to slowly cut through my nail. Only, the anesthetic hadn't started to work just yet. FML

#8474571
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30007) - you deserved it (2463)

On 02/20/2010 at 10:13am - health - by papertrains (woman) - Singapore

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

#8455591
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20441) - you deserved it (6219)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)



FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #17
  • It's here! Yep, time once more to delve into the darkest corners of the FML postbag and check out the stuff that never would've seen the light of day, had we not had a vicious streak in our brains. It's…

Tuesday 25 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: