Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Sakeyaki

Search for a member

Sakeyaki

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 September 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 52270
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About Sakeyaki : I go on here for shits and giggles.
I listen to Muse, Coldplay, Secondhand Serenade, Daft Punk, Franz Ferdinand, and Yellowcard.
I'm a senior in high school and I plan on going to college for Computer Science and MAYBE minor in web design.

And don't bother sending me shit about how you want to fuck me or how hawt I am, I'm taken. :I I get the same shit every day, kthx.

Sakeyaki's page activity

Visits<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 9:15pm<b>0x48656C6C6F</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 2:56pm<b>lightningclicks</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 10:37pm<b>ridwaanrazak</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 12:00am<b>Genius_Kitty</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 12:30am<b>Zoldyck</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 11:46am<b>xadeel</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 1:57am<b>punmessiah</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 5:31pm<b>dmoz47</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 8:07pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 4:42pm<b>arsh_fz</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 8:32am<b>stupidretriever</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 12:28pm<b>choochee02</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 5:51pm<b>OwlsMakeBowels</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 2:29pm<b>edenxero</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 5:03am<b>typical_bull</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 10:31pm<b>14kgold</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 10:54am<b>dmcintosh</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 5:17pm

Sakeyaki's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Sakeyaki's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

#8837524
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24154) - you deserved it (12553)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

#8823519
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26677) - you deserved it (2688)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:52pm - health - by GoDiarrhea (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML

#8821519
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28118) - you deserved it (6455)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:48am - intimacy - by lalararara - United States

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

#8797519
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7337) - you deserved it (23859)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML

#8793926
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33440) - you deserved it (3825)

On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47736) - you deserved it (10474)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

#8743976
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39375) - you deserved it (2665)

On 03/01/2010 at 8:17am - misc - by GuiltByTenuousAssociation (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML

#8741180
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26751) - you deserved it (8216)

On 03/01/2010 at 2:30am - intimacy - by Lovejunkie (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27470) - you deserved it (2482)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant. While we were eating, her brother who is really cute asked what "brown sauce" is. I said thats probably 'penis' sauce. I'd meant to say 'peanut sauce' but the damage was done. The entire family just stared. FML

#8658331
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13011) - you deserved it (22934)

On 02/26/2010 at 4:10am - misc - by princess4242 (woman) - India (Delhi)

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28207) - you deserved it (7192)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I lied to my crush telling him I can play the piano. To 'prove' it, I recorded a video on my phone of a girl playing a beautiful piece. After I sent it, I realized my mouse cursor was in the center of the page the entire time. FML

#8505761
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4913) - you deserved it (59224)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by Piano999 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML

Today, I went to the hospital to get my ingrown toenail removed. The doctors put me on a little surgery table and told me to relax. They then injected anesthetic into my toe four times and used a pair of scissors to slowly cut through my nail. Only, the anesthetic hadn't started to work just yet. FML

#8474571
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31032) - you deserved it (2547)

On 02/20/2010 at 10:13am - health - by papertrains (woman) - Singapore

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

#8455591
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21554) - you deserved it (6394)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: