Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Sakeyaki

Search for a member

Sakeyaki

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 September 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 49960
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About Sakeyaki : I go on here for shits and giggles.
I listen to Muse, Coldplay, Secondhand Serenade, Daft Punk, Franz Ferdinand, and Yellowcard.
I'm a senior in high school and I plan on going to college for Computer Science and MAYBE minor in web design.

And don't bother sending me shit about how you want to fuck me or how hawt I am, I'm taken. :I I get the same shit every day, kthx.

Sakeyaki's page activity

Visits<b>Martijn1102</b> - 19 hours ago<b>anothemy</b> - yesterday at 3:05pm<b>Damafia</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:40pm<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 1:41am<b>YoloTillIDie</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 4:37pm<b>RagingWill</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 1:02am<b>rabechan</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 12:08am<b>Waspinator1998</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 5:17am<b>sporkster</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 8:22am<b>Deltaforce1</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 5:36am<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 9:47am<b>Kobe1Kenobi</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 11:33pm<b>Skyzeri</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 10:46pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 6:48pm<b>i_wuz_nver_here</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 9:26pm<b>TeddyBunny</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 6:35pm<b>sethmayer9</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 1:05am<b>RoseIsBatgirl</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 8:45pm

Sakeyaki's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Sakeyaki's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

#8837524
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20458) - you deserved it (11270)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

#8823519
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22888) - you deserved it (2378)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:52pm - health - by GoDiarrhea (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML

#8821519
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23875) - you deserved it (5808)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:48am - intimacy - by lalararara - United States

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

#8797519
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5921) - you deserved it (20895)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML

#8793926
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29010) - you deserved it (3390)

On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43049) - you deserved it (9564)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

#8743976
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34966) - you deserved it (2328)

On 03/01/2010 at 8:17am - misc - by GuiltByTenuousAssociation (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML

#8741180
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22467) - you deserved it (7396)

On 03/01/2010 at 2:30am - intimacy - by Lovejunkie (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23608) - you deserved it (2179)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant. While we were eating, her brother who is really cute asked what "brown sauce" is. I said thats probably 'penis' sauce. I'd meant to say 'peanut sauce' but the damage was done. The entire family just stared. FML

#8658331
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10835) - you deserved it (20079)

On 02/26/2010 at 4:10am - misc - by princess4242 (woman) - India (Delhi)

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24229) - you deserved it (6664)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I lied to my crush telling him I can play the piano. To 'prove' it, I recorded a video on my phone of a girl playing a beautiful piece. After I sent it, I realized my mouse cursor was in the center of the page the entire time. FML

#8505761
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3868) - you deserved it (53145)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by Piano999 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML

Today, I went to the hospital to get my ingrown toenail removed. The doctors put me on a little surgery table and told me to relax. They then injected anesthetic into my toe four times and used a pair of scissors to slowly cut through my nail. Only, the anesthetic hadn't started to work just yet. FML

#8474571
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26811) - you deserved it (2200)

On 02/20/2010 at 10:13am - health - by papertrains (woman) - Singapore

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

#8455591
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17741) - you deserved it (5746)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: