About SaintJupiter : Matt F.
I'm on a high school mountain biking team (RICO) which is part of the SoCal league division and like gaming, cycling (duh) and guitar. Message me if you want to talk; I'm always up for a friendly conversation!
About SaintJupiter : Matt F.
SaintJupiter's FML badges
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
SaintJupiter's favorite FMLs
by MonsterProblems / 01/07/2015 at 2:07am / Croatia / Health
by Anonymous / 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by baconistasty27 / 08/01/2014 at 1:33am / United States (California) / Money
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation / 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by ifeelfat / 06/17/2014 at 4:44pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I came down with diarrhea thanks to a particularly low-class restaurant. My dad has been making constant stupid puns like "pretty shitty state you're in" and "this day and age, you just don't expect this crap". I'm at the point where I want to gouge his eyes out with a goddamn spoon. FML
by fuckmuppet / 05/27/2014 at 1:04pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Health
by Birthday Surprise / 05/26/2014 at 5:18pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was looking at some cellphones with my dad, when an assistant asked if we needed help. My dad said, "Yeah, does this have parental controls? My son watches some freaky stuff, some damn freaky stuff." I don't watch anything weird, but thanks for humiliating me, dad. FML
by Anonymous / 05/10/2014 at 1:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents decided to get with the times. So far, they've made me get Snapchat and Instagram accounts, and made me add them on Facebook. They keep acting like annoying teenagers, and get mad at me when I don't play along. For the love of god, somebody save me. FML
by Anais Strongrump III Jr. / 05/09/2014 at 4:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML
by randomusername99 / 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML
by Zekrome / 05/05/2014 at 3:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
by Numbass123 / 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm / United States (Nevada) / Health
Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML
by Mortifiedcharityworker / 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm / Austria / Work
by Anonymous / 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by damn / 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
- Today, I asked my boyfriend if I've gained weight. He replied, "Why do you think I've been so often… Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she… Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went…