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SaintJupiter

Offline (the 11/10/2014 at 4:26am) | Search for a member

SaintJupiter

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 435
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About SaintJupiter : Matt F.
I'm on a high school mountain biking team (RICO) which is part of the SoCal league division and like gaming, cycling (duh) and guitar. Message me if you want to talk; I'm always up for a friendly conversation!

Instagram: matthewfoulston

SaintJupiter's page activity

Visits<b>anmurphy101</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:26pm<b>JEFFEBEANS</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 4:04pm<b>ElementSponge</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 11:30pm<b>babywatcher</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 10:22pm<b>jeremycruz</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 3:41pm<b>davered89</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 2:47pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 8:36pm<b>jsgervais84</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 12:38pm<b>larryb1986</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:34am<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:28pm<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 7:20pm<b>dddean</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 4:11pm<b>mollyxrose</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 7:58am<b>tyoung94</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 11:20pm<b>Kyra1</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 8:25pm<b>shjoh</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 8:24pm<b>aelathehuntress</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 11:48am<b>Brandon4312</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 7:43am

Liked!<b>anmurphy101</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 2:26am

SaintJupiter's FML badges

Perfectionist

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Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of SaintJupiter's badges

SaintJupiter's favorite FMLs

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

#21229613
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48879) - you deserved it (4183)

On 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent my afternoon rummaging through old jeans and other pants, due to being broke and needing cash for ramen. FML

#21226442
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34729) - you deserved it (4376)

On 08/01/2014 at 1:33am - money - by baconistasty27 - United States (California)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40308) - you deserved it (6124)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at the waterpark, some guy came up to me and profusely thanked me for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. FML

#21178301
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48961) - you deserved it (7580)

On 06/17/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by ifeelfat (woman) - United States

Today, I came down with diarrhea thanks to a particularly low-class restaurant. My dad has been making constant stupid puns like "pretty shitty state you're in" and "this day and age, you just don't expect this crap". I'm at the point where I want to gouge his eyes out with a goddamn spoon. FML

#21153372
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39753) - you deserved it (6986)

On 05/27/2014 at 1:04pm - health - by fuckmuppet (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML

#21152462
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48438) - you deserved it (4637)

On 05/26/2014 at 5:18pm - misc - by Birthday Surprise - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was looking at some cellphones with my dad, when an assistant asked if we needed help. My dad said, "Yeah, does this have parental controls? My son watches some freaky stuff, some damn freaky stuff." I don't watch anything weird, but thanks for humiliating me, dad. FML

#21135688
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39648) - you deserved it (4100)

On 05/10/2014 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents decided to get with the times. So far, they've made me get Snapchat and Instagram accounts, and made me add them on Facebook. They keep acting like annoying teenagers, and get mad at me when I don't play along. For the love of god, somebody save me. FML

#21134960
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43779) - you deserved it (4967)

On 05/09/2014 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anais Strongrump III Jr. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

#21131626
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39646) - you deserved it (4355)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (459) - you deserved it (18970)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

#21130490
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41285) - you deserved it (10507)

On 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm - health - by Numbass123 (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

#21128082
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24113) - you deserved it (34935)

On 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by Mortifiedcharityworker (woman) - Austria

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

#21115891
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47246) - you deserved it (18181)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

#21108665
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43686) - you deserved it (7213)

On 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm - intimacy - by damn (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

#21102694
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40246) - you deserved it (9486)

On 04/02/2014 at 7:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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