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SaintJupiter

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SaintJupiter

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 309
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About SaintJupiter : Matt F.
I'm on a high school mountain biking team (RICO) which is part of the SoCal league division and like gaming, cycling (duh) and guitar. Message me if you want to talk; I'm always up for a friendly conversation!

Instagram: matthewfoulston

SaintJupiter's page activity

Visits<b>davered89</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 2:47pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 8:36pm<b>jsgervais84</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 12:38pm<b>larryb1986</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:34am<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:28pm<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 7:20pm<b>anmurphy101</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 3:41am<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 4:28pm<b>dddean</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 4:11pm<b>mollyxrose</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 7:58am<b>tyoung94</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 11:20pm<b>Kyra1</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 8:25pm<b>shjoh</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 8:24pm<b>aelathehuntress</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 11:48am<b>Brandon4312</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 7:43am<b>ram2500</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:05am<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 6:33am<b>mza418</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 12:29am

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SaintJupiter's favorite FMLs

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39894) - you deserved it (6086)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at the waterpark, some guy came up to me and profusely thanked me for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. FML

#21178301
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47895) - you deserved it (7395)

On 06/17/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by ifeelfat (woman) - United States

Today, I came down with diarrhea thanks to a particularly low-class restaurant. My dad has been making constant stupid puns like "pretty shitty state you're in" and "this day and age, you just don't expect this crap". I'm at the point where I want to gouge his eyes out with a goddamn spoon. FML

#21153372
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38822) - you deserved it (6851)

On 05/27/2014 at 1:04pm - health - by fuckmuppet (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML

#21152462
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47406) - you deserved it (4547)

On 05/26/2014 at 5:18pm - misc - by Birthday Surprise - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was looking at some cellphones with my dad, when an assistant asked if we needed help. My dad said, "Yeah, does this have parental controls? My son watches some freaky stuff, some damn freaky stuff." I don't watch anything weird, but thanks for humiliating me, dad. FML

#21135688
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39533) - you deserved it (4090)

On 05/10/2014 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents decided to get with the times. So far, they've made me get Snapchat and Instagram accounts, and made me add them on Facebook. They keep acting like annoying teenagers, and get mad at me when I don't play along. For the love of god, somebody save me. FML

#21134960
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43658) - you deserved it (4956)

On 05/09/2014 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anais Strongrump III Jr. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

#21131626
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38658) - you deserved it (4256)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86) - you deserved it (18048)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

#21130490
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40612) - you deserved it (10279)

On 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm - health - by Numbass123 (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

#21128082
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23610) - you deserved it (34217)

On 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by Mortifiedcharityworker (woman) - Austria

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

#21115891
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46403) - you deserved it (18020)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

#21108665
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41661) - you deserved it (6906)

On 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm - intimacy - by damn (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

#21102694
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40020) - you deserved it (9456)

On 04/02/2014 at 7:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to explain to my neighbours that I wasn't "watching porn" earlier, and that I was honestly just watching an episode of Game of Thrones. FML

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46086) - you deserved it (6766)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom



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