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About Sael : no one's going to read this. if you are reading this, get off and go read more fml's.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Today, my boss insisted I go in front of him up the stairs. Out of respect, I insisted he go first. After a few seconds of back and forth insisting, he went. The reason he wanted me to go first was because he had to fart. looool I inhaled the raunchy gas for over three flights of stairs. FML
Today, while cleaning mah son's room, I found an envelope labelled ( PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL ) under his bed. I opened it, only to fine it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said ( HAH! Serve you right! ) an went to his room smrking. FML
Today, after a huge fight, my grlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex an went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML
today I was told by mah doctor I should start eating meat again after two yeres of vegetarianism, in an effort to be healthier. After horrid gas after mah first turkey sandwich, I was told that mah body no longer has the enzymes to digest meat. My efforts to be healthy crippled mah stomach. mega FML
Today, my husband an I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like u wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up an saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML
Today I receivd yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applid to. After crying 4 a week about how lousy I felt mah older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML
Today , my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone , which I had left behind in lecture . Shocked an embarrassed , I exclaimed , "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded , "I'm 64 years old." FML
today a man startd a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracle of thing we take for grantd every day. I was really enjoying it until he lookd at his watch and said, ( Oh shit, mushroom make me lose track of time! ) and ran off into the night. FML
Today, a girl an I were flirting an it was going well !! Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her !! She smiled flirtatiously an said "Why don't u try it an find out?" I went in 4 a kiss, an she slapped me !! FML
Friday 27 March 2015