About SadMansSandwich : I'm Brock. I'm a guitarist. I like punk, metal and rock. Also videogames and comics. Message me if you want.
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SadMansSandwich's favorite FMLs
by cuntsmom / 09/24/2013 at 12:47am / United States / Kids
Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML
by IronSkye / 08/29/2013 at 6:55am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Kids
by wildwonder808 / 08/12/2013 at 6:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/29/2012 at 5:07am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
by Carpet cleaner / 02/20/2012 at 9:15pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML
by charlie3289 / 10/27/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Florida) / Work
by hisgirl4life / 02/05/2010 at 8:44am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I fell asleep on the train and accidentally wound up resting my head on a strange man's shoulder. When I woke up, I discovered that not only did he not object, but he decided to return the favor by resting his hand on my thigh. I was wearing a skirt. FML
by Violated / 12/09/2009 at 3:47am / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
Today, I was introduced to my boyfriend's family at their family reunion for the first time. As I sat on the couch, his 4-year old sister comes in and jumps onto my lap. For a moment I was happy to think his sister liked me, only to hear her say "You're fat! I like fat things." FML
by Judiee / 02/28/2009 at 5:52am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was baby-sitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two hour struggle, I finally manage to get them into bed. I then ask them what they want before going to sleep, and the eldest replies: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML
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- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…
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