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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
SabriLittleRed's favorite FMLs
Today, my neighbor at my apartment building told me water from my sink was leaking into his apartment. He told me to call maintenance to fix it, but they won't help unless he calls. He refuses to, and I can't do my dishes without feeling like an asshole. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2015 at 9:05pm / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
by Highnapple / 03/04/2015 at 2:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by notdrivinganytimesoon / 03/03/2015 at 9:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I noticed my ex was feeling down. We ended things on good terms and I've been wanting to start things up again, so I figured I'd bring him dinner to cheer him up and maybe hang out. Looks like he and his one night stand get to eat my home cooked food while I go home to Netflix. FML
by DramaticEmily / 03/02/2015 at 7:29pm / United States (Utah) / Love
by teapotrevolt / 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health
by Sprinkles / 02/04/2015 at 2:44am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML
by xoragebaby / 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/21/2015 at 3:33am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy
Today, my wife wanted me to take her to a new restaurant in town. When I looked it up and saw their prices, I almost had a heart attack. When I said it was too expensive, she snapped "Maybe you'd like to look up 'Lorena Bobbitt' next?!" We went to the restaurant. FML
by wounded pride, intact cock / 01/17/2015 at 1:49pm / United States / Love
by MovingOut / 01/15/2015 at 8:21pm / Saint Vincent and the Grenadines / Miscellaneous
Today, I dreamed that I cheated on my boyfriend. I was so overwhelmed with guilt that I called him while half-asleep to tell him about it and apologize. I'm fully awake now and he doesn't believe it was really a dream. FML
by ihateeverything / 01/14/2015 at 12:35pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Maiar / 01/13/2015 at 12:42pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML
by con135 / 01/12/2015 at 8:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by briiiiiiii123 / 01/12/2015 at 2:56am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…