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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Sabraynay's favorite FMLs
by teeth / 08/10/2011 at 1:00pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by elvisfreak5446 / 08/10/2011 at 12:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by thatfatkid / 08/10/2011 at 1:48am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw my brother's pregnant girlfriend smoking. Disgusted, I asked him why he didn't just stab her in the uterus and get it over with. He laughed like it was a joke, then cussed because he spilled his cereal. He's more concerned about spilled cereal than having a brain-damaged child. FML
by auntoftheyear / 08/10/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Louisiana) / Health
by anonymous / 08/10/2011 at 12:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Nekro_Kat / 08/09/2011 at 11:00pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML
by Zoe Avila / 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm / United States / Animals
by Username / 08/09/2011 at 5:21pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
by Pinkie / 08/06/2011 at 5:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Tabby / 08/06/2011 at 4:39pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
by lostforwords / 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm / Ireland (Tipperary) / Miscellaneous
by pimples / 08/06/2011 at 9:08am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by nomorecookies / 08/06/2011 at 1:53am / United States (Missouri) / Transportation
by en3rg1zer21 / 08/06/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 9:47pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
- Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, I was on an adult-orientated website when my mother entered the room. I closed the webpage… Today, I’m a babysitter for a 4 year-old little girl. All afternoon, I attended Barbie’s murder and…