SW500

Search for a member

SW500

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 February 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 905
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SW500 : I eat socks. Don't judge me!

SW500's page activity

Visits<b>sonasonic</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 11:57pm<b>Cakeslovespans</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 10:33pm<b>Colden_H</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 7:19pm<b>hduebdo</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 10:31pm<b>ILoveHashtags</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:13am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 3:58pm<b>AnonymousFunFMLs</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 10:36pm<b>teotsi</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 12:45am<b>emmawu</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 5:19am<b>jetsown08</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 11:43am<b>j_js182</b> - the 10/15/2012 at 7:11am<b>freeturnedslave</b> - the 07/03/2012 at 8:31am

SW500's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of SW500's badges

SW500's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought my son a nice car for his 18th birthday. When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay for college. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2012 at 6:27am / Israel / Kids

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

by fuckingbeliebers / 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received an acceptance letter to Juilliard. After showing it to my mom, she tells me I can't attend because Robin Williams graduated from Juilliard, and he now has too much facial hair. FML

by A.W / 06/24/2012 at 9:57am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML

by Darwin_Award_Winner / 06/07/2012 at 8:10am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML

by gl0b3suck0r / 05/08/2012 at 12:41pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Animals

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

by erockinthesuburb / 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to clean up the yard by dumping gasoline all over the leaves and lighting our entire front yard on fire. FML

by JWhite / 11/24/2011 at 3:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

by loves the smell of burning flesh / 11/01/2011 at 9:22am / United States (California) / Health

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

by Unemployed / 10/16/2011 at 3:15am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I was watching my cousin shoot at targets on hay bales with his plastic pellet BB gun. After my sister asked him if it would hurt to be shot with one, my cousin smiled at her and said, "Ask your sister" as he shot me in the leg. I think my screaming was obvious enough. It hurts. FML

by ThanksChris / 10/16/2011 at 3:06am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML

by bastard magnet / 10/02/2011 at 6:14pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML

by RetroDayDreamer / 09/10/2011 at 11:46am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had to spend the morning and afternoon waiting for my uncle to take a crap after his hernia surgery. It never happened, and in the end I drove home, only to find the highway just as backed up as my uncle's colon. FML

by wilmerjean / 09/08/2011 at 4:47pm / United States / Health