This member hasn't filled in the description.
Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4038) - you totally deserved it (14134)
On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25115) - you totally deserved it (3332)
On 10/24/2009 at 9:14am - love - by Oops (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I was pretending to be a monkey for a "documentary". The branch snapped and I fell out of the tree and onto a car roof. It was after school, I fell onto the dean's BMW. The video was on facebook before I regained consciousness. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17547) - you totally deserved it (6088)
On 10/09/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was locked inside my dorm room. Yeah, inside. How? Some of my floormates decided to stick pennies in the door frame, which jammed the handle. I was stuck inside my room and had to pee really bad. I couldn't call an RA to get me out either. Why? I am the RA. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22853) - you totally deserved it (2888)
On 10/07/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by pennyhater (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31957) - you totally deserved it (6706)
On 10/07/2009 at 3:05am - work - by screwed (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34619) - you totally deserved it (1146)
On 10/06/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by zitroskies (man) - United States (California)
Today, my 9 year old little sister is coming back in town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3191) - you totally deserved it (31743)
On 10/03/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by deadfish - United States (Florida)
Today, I joined a small disaster relief group. I remarked to the big, long-haired person beside me that it was surprising that I was the only female in the group. I got a cold stare. Later I asked another volunteer about that person. He answered, "Oh, her? She's my sister." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5690) - you totally deserved it (19947)
On 09/30/2009 at 3:30pm - work - by Blurry (woman) - Philippines (Batangas)
Today, I learned that if you're going to tell your mother you are gay, make sure she isn't holding a frying pan filled with hot grease. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38364) - you totally deserved it (7758)
On 09/28/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32956) - you totally deserved it (1947)
On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I told my dad that I have a very serious drinking problem and that I need to go to rehab because I can't stop on my own. He told me that I just need to make new friends and suggested I join a sorority. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21654) - you totally deserved it (3605)
On 09/24/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25863) - you totally deserved it (2276)
On 09/23/2009 at 4:14am - love - by garrett (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I realized I had misspelled "Education" on all the resumes I've been submitting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6129) - you totally deserved it (30642)
On 09/22/2009 at 10:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 0.50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4656) - you totally deserved it (56311)
On 09/21/2009 at 2:06am - love - by FreeOfCharge (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23055) - you totally deserved it (1611)
On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
