Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SS99

Offline (the 05/21/2015 at 4:06pm) | Search for a member

SS99

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 9 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3902
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About SS99 : Currently a double engineering major and a physics minor. Aspiring MMA fighter and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu practitioner. I love MMA, video games, and talking to people :) Message me!

SS99's page activity

Visits<b>Malteser95</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:37pm<b>Karls_Marx</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 5:20pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:56pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 4:06pm<b>awishadahbau5</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 9:48am<b>sleepisweak</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 6:27am<b>bauerusarmy</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 8:11pm<b>RachelF4646</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 10:37am<b>zackattack1500</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 10:23pm<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 1:16am<b>abattior</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 6:49pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:59pm<b>alakazam12</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:21pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:10pm<b>pubeboy</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 12:59pm<b>kristergirl</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 12:38pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:43am<b>CinematicKid</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 5:35pm

Fucked!<b>RachelF4646</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 5:07pm<b>bauerusarmy</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 6:40pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 9:10pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 5:04am

SS99's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of SS99's badges

SS99's favorite FMLs

Today, I realised my girlfriend is the perfect woman for most men. She only ever talks to me in the intermissions on Modern Warfare 2; shame it's not me playing. FML

#8614078
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24183) - you deserved it (5656)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:27pm - love - by sadf4x0r (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, my girlfriend was really depressed. I listed the top 50 reasons why I love her. Her response was "thanks for that but seriously, this video on youtube is hilarious." I couldn't cheer her up but apparently a 10 second video of a dog running in circles can. FML

#8238401
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26365) - you deserved it (3150)

On 02/14/2010 at 3:48am - love - by Samson (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend had replaced our picture in her locket for a picture of Taylor Lautner shirtless. FML

#7724225
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34296) - you deserved it (5743)

On 01/30/2010 at 10:20pm - love - by Twilightsux (man) - United States

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

#7293990
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28081) - you deserved it (8601)

On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that I have been declared dead by my credit card company in England because I haven't used it since I moved to Thailand last year. I will need three witnesses to convince them that I am actually alive. FML

#7167765
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27128) - you deserved it (2201)

On 01/05/2010 at 7:02pm - money - by Arsinoe (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I was playing with my yo-yo. I began showing off to my friends. When the girl I liked walked by, I thought it'd be really cool to do the move "dog bite". I ended hitting myself in the balls. Hard. FML

#6792186
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7771) - you deserved it (34035)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:34am - misc - by owmyballs - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30866) - you deserved it (7280)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML

#6659884
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11673) - you deserved it (30091)

On 12/08/2009 at 1:26am - animals - by damncat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom said I was the worst of her 5 children. My IQ is 130, an honor student, I don't smoke, I don't drink alcohol, or do drugs. I'm the "worst" because I don't go to church every Sunday. FML

#5791977
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46121) - you deserved it (10044)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by worst (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

#5774504
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55072) - you deserved it (27834)

On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, my best friend and I went to the movies. There was a hot cashier, so I thought it would be cool to talk in a British accent to try and be sexy. I walked up and started talking when he interrupted me and said in a very heavy British accent, "I know you're faking. You can stop now." FML

#5752857
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7831) - you deserved it (56040)

On 10/10/2009 at 2:10am - work - by dammitt (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (175762) - you deserved it (8979)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while talking online with my boyfriend, the conversation turns sexual. He stops responding but I continue with the conversation. Then I get a response: "this is his sister. He fell asleep and I need the computer. I'll tell him you said goodnight, but not that other stuff". FML

#5266141
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24485) - you deserved it (7352)

On 09/15/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

#5164209
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45616) - you deserved it (4305)

On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: