About SS99 : I am me.
SS99's FML badges
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
SS99's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm / United States (South Dakota) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 2:39am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML
by lsababy / 06/11/2013 at 2:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by ._. / 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML
by Anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I was in bed with my fiancé. After a while of quiet cuddling, I said, "Babe, I have cold feet." He replied with, "Me too. Let's call off the wedding." I was talking about the actual temperature of my feet. Our wedding is tomorrow. FML
by anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 8:23am / Australia / Love
by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to end things with my boyfriend, thinking it would be fine since things have never been at all serious between us. He cried for hours before having his grandmother text me to say how heartless I am. FML
by Anonymous / 05/10/2013 at 12:48pm / Norway / Love
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
by Anonymous / 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML
by SecondBest,IGuess / 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
by Anonymous / 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by wow / 04/15/2013 at 2:36pm / Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City) / Love
by Zxz / 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
- Today, after spending five hours on the pond fishing, I put my final catch on the stringer that had… Today, I finally got my cast off from having a fractured foot. I wanted to instantly start working… Today, there was a problem with payroll at work. Instead of being paid for 38 hours I was paid for…