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About SPM1018 : Im a girl :)
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44463) - you deserved it (2499)
On 02/19/2009 at 4:47pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38313) - you deserved it (8752)
On 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm - kids - by girlmeetsworld - United States (New York)
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (87022) - you deserved it (7156)
On 02/18/2009 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsohappy (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my grandmother called. She greeted me by my mother's name. When I told her it was not my mother, she apologized and corrected herself, but this time she addressed me as my sister. When I told her it was not my sister either, she said "Sorry, wrong number" and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38687) - you deserved it (1934)
On 02/18/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by fuckthat (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37808) - you deserved it (2240)
On 02/17/2009 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by jons (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54343) - you deserved it (3804)
On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (147894) - you deserved it (55392)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "no that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34344) - you deserved it (3311)
On 02/16/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by IBleedArbor - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (46343) - you deserved it (12906)
On 02/16/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by pineapple456 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38451) - you deserved it (4901)
On 02/16/2009 at 12:45am - animals - by Ugh - United States (California)
Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32496) - you deserved it (4049)
On 02/15/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by cjk004 - United States (California)
Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (119729) - you deserved it (34141)
On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1147) - you deserved it (17289)
On 02/10/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by maxthndr (man) - United States
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
I agree, your life sucks (381269) - you deserved it (34534)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (445936) - you deserved it (32704)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
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