Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SHAMUS_the_WITTY

Online | Search for a member

SHAMUS_the_WITTY

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Arc, France
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 August 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16440
  • Number of comments : 410
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SHAMUS_the_WITTY :
Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's page activity

Visits<b>CandienInEurope</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 9:07pm<b>slingerslasher</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 4:01am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 3:23am<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 1:00am<b>XPhoenixFire</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 3:26pm<b>yaboigabe</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 1:29pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 11:53am<b>symfora</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 10:33am<b>chriss2015</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 10:09am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 9:40am<b>blaacbird</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 7:07am<b>Lukewarm_Grandma</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 1:17am<b>maydayyparade</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 12:24pm<b>theswanlake</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 8:55am<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 12:20am<b>sethsmith11</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 4:24pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 12:50am<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 9:29pm

Fucked!<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 9:23am<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 7:00am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 12:34pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 3:28pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 7:32am<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:59pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:06pm<b>mintyowlgirl</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:29am

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of SHAMUS_the_WITTY's badges

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60493) - you deserved it (22463)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I called the guy I've liked for a long time and told him how I felt. He didn't say anything except for "hello." After I spilled my feelings, I hear "Haha, just kidding I'm not here right now! Call me back later!" FML

#1986164
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50747) - you deserved it (8358)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

#1964368
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38254) - you deserved it (4439)

On 05/15/2009 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by dammitall (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was accepted to Harvard's law program. Prestigious right? After hearing the good news the only thing my parents talked about over dinner was who they wanted to win American Idol: Adam, Kris or Danny. FML

#1916731
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55482) - you deserved it (4860)

On 05/13/2009 at 8:59pm - misc - by NoComparison (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft. I got a disease in real life by living in a virtual world. FML

#1879175
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28128) - you deserved it (146602)

On 05/12/2009 at 6:05pm - health - by Loser (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML

#1807200
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80394) - you deserved it (13072)

On 05/10/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by Jopes (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

#1793303
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32694) - you deserved it (50381)

On 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm - work - by Failoffel (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I thought it would be funny if I put a 'Free if Hot-Wired' sign on my friend's car. I guess it worked. FML

#1766885
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8904) - you deserved it (80573)

On 05/09/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by t-dawg (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81538) - you deserved it (24875)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the library. I went near the computer section when I saw this man cursing and pounding his fists on a computer. He left. I thought I'd check it out. As I sat down, a librarian came over with the security guard and pointed at me. I'm now being fined for destroying public property. FML

#1722072
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49732) - you deserved it (14712)

On 05/07/2009 at 4:27pm - misc - by weliveanddie14 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML

#1719560
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123687) - you deserved it (6201)

On 05/07/2009 at 3:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML

#1706797
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72075) - you deserved it (8114)

On 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm - kids - by fmal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I stopped at a red light. I noticed the car in front of me had the reverse lights on. I thought to myself "Meh, that person must know. They wouldn't do that." The light turned green. Turns out they didn't. Nor did they have insurance. FML

#1705413
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51061) - you deserved it (4819)

On 05/06/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by jezusflowers (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (281685) - you deserved it (17820)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: