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SHAMUS_the_WITTY

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 August 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8626
  • Number of comments : 389
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords

Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.

Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's page activity

Visits<b>Jonny_Blaze0017</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:59am<b>Purrrvana</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 2:39pm<b>mintyowlgirl</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 7:29pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:36pm<b>turtlerae4</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:26pm<b>somebodywhocares</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:33am<b>vindown</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 9:02am<b>chipinn</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:47am<b>charethcutestory</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 12:36am<b>Ambrily</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:03pm<b>Bradley_Dillon</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:03pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:17pm<b>staaacey</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 6:11am<b>martin8337</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:26pm<b>xReDMemory</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 1:38pm<b>imasexyburrito</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:46pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 6:26pm<b>pilusepi</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 3:43pm

Liked!<b>mintyowlgirl</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:29am

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's FML badges

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

#1964368
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36215) - you deserved it (4247)

On 05/15/2009 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by dammitall (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was accepted to Harvard's law program. Prestigious right? After hearing the good news the only thing my parents talked about over dinner was who they wanted to win American Idol: Adam, Kris or Danny. FML

#1916731
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52613) - you deserved it (4600)

On 05/13/2009 at 8:59pm - misc - by NoComparison (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft. I got a disease in real life by living in a virtual world. FML

#1879175
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25488) - you deserved it (139918)

On 05/12/2009 at 6:05pm - health - by Loser (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML

#1807200
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76731) - you deserved it (12388)

On 05/10/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by Jopes (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

#1793303
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30293) - you deserved it (47833)

On 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm - work - by Failoffel (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I thought it would be funny if I put a 'Free if Hot-Wired' sign on my friend's car. I guess it worked. FML

#1766885
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7977) - you deserved it (76937)

On 05/09/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by t-dawg (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76816) - you deserved it (23409)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the library. I went near the computer section when I saw this man cursing and pounding his fists on a computer. He left. I thought I'd check it out. As I sat down, a librarian came over with the security guard and pointed at me. I'm now being fined for destroying public property. FML

#1722072
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47332) - you deserved it (14002)

On 05/07/2009 at 4:27pm - misc - by weliveanddie14 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML

#1719560
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115338) - you deserved it (5647)

On 05/07/2009 at 3:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML

#1706797
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71597) - you deserved it (8075)

On 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm - kids - by fmal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I stopped at a red light. I noticed the car in front of me had the reverse lights on. I thought to myself "Meh, that person must know. They wouldn't do that." The light turned green. Turns out they didn't. Nor did they have insurance. FML

#1705413
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48035) - you deserved it (4509)

On 05/06/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by jezusflowers (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (269859) - you deserved it (17579)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (178259) - you deserved it (45711)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

#1427967
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15397) - you deserved it (56063)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)



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