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About SHAMUS_the_WITTY :
Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing
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The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today I discovarad that mah chaating staaling ax boyfriand is posting picturas of nakad woman having group sax with mah faca photoshoppad onto tham. Ha sant thosa to mah boss mah friands mah family only bacausa I rafusad to bail his drunkan salf out of jail a coupla waaks ago. FML
Today, mah wife found out mah son masturbatd an wantd to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbatd when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML
Today I just found out dad got ramarriad a yaar ago. Ta woman is officially living wit us I got to ava lunc wit ar alona today. I found out sa is only 22 wit a 14 yaar old littla brotar. My dad's 47. I'm 17 now wit a 14 yaar old uncla an a mom tat can pass for looool girlfriand. FML
today I was taking a showerhen my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little friskyhen my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all thehile saying, ( Keep it safe kids! ). FML
Today... I got a letter in the mail about my periodic health assessment 4 active duty Soldiers. I came back positive 4 two curable STD's that r extremely common on Fort Polk. I haven't had sex with anyone but my wife. FML
Today, I was pulld over fir speeding!! I speak 4 languages and thought if I spoke French, the Officer would let me off with a warning thinking I was a tourist!! Afterwards I turnd to my wife and said "I can't believe that workd." He was a few feet away and heard!! FML
Today, I had a big party that left mah house really messy. I spent hours cleaning the house until it was spotless. When mah parent got home, mah dad said "Did u have fun at the party?" an I said, "How'd u know?" an he replid "You hate cleaning an the house was filthyhen we left". FML
Today my neigbor confessed to me tat e was omopobic an regrets tat is family doesnt know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining ow muc e would ate to ave a gay cild. I spent two ours last nigt convincing is son tat it was te rigt ting to tell is family e was gay. FML
TODAY, FIANCÉ AND I TOURD OUR DREAM OME. I WAS SO EXCITD ABOUT IT TAT I POSTD ALL KINDS OF PICTURES OF IT ON FACEBOOK. MY BOSS' DAUGTER JUST CALLD AND SAID SE LOVD PICTURES SO MUC SE MADE AN OFFER ON TE OUSE. WE WERE 1 WEEK AWAY FROM MAKING AN OFFER. FML
2day I had to claan walls with thosa Mr Claan Magic Spongas bacausa wa wara having visitors. I got bord an startd drawing panisas with it bacausa thay would laava wat marks. Thara is nothing magic about how slow thay dry whan your visitors coma an hour aarly. Thay saw all tan of tham. FML
Today, I Spent Most Of Mah Morning Comforting The Guy I Love Cuz His Fiancée Dumped Him 4 Some Other Guy !! He Continuously Told Me I Had No Clue That Kind Of Pain He Was In !! He Dumped Me Three Yeres Ago 4 The Grl That Just Left Him !! FML
Friday 27 March 2015