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SHAMUS_the_WITTY

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY
  • Town/Country : South of the Mason-Dixon, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 August 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 5283
  • Number of comments : 375
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords

Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.

Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML

#5971935
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38666) - you deserved it (5850)

On 10/24/2009 at 9:14am - love - by Oops (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I took my first Viagra. It worked great, but "Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel" would not return to "hiding". After 4 hours, I was in mortal aching pain, and went to my doctor for a shot and sedative. My wife, the doctor, and the nurse could not stifle their laughter. FML

#5938772
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14337) - you deserved it (5407)

On 10/22/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ItsFunnyNow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was standing in the gas station, pulling out my wallet to pay the $100 of gas I just filled my car with. I opened my wallet and found a note saying "borrowed money for food". FML

#5925847
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30596) - you deserved it (2894)

On 10/21/2009 at 6:05am - money - by Pissed (man) - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, my boss was angry at me because I had filed a complaint about him refusing to change our phone service to something more reliable. Later, a customer called him and said I had hung up on him. I got fired. I didn't hang up on the customer, the phone service just dropped the call. FML

#5914155
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33766) - you deserved it (2112)

On 10/20/2009 at 3:35pm - work - by ShayanFCB (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at my twin brother for getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says "It's not mine." Confused, I look at the ticket and see my name. He used my license. FML

#5913755
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41030) - you deserved it (3818)

On 10/20/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Twinner (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was out for a nice walk and saw a man being attacked by a large crowd. Instinctively I ran to help him. I pushed one "thug" off him and that little time allowed him to escape. I later found out the man I saved had just keyed someone's car and they had intervened. Guess whose car. FML

Today, it was the elections for Student Council President. I decided to be nice and vote for the only other competitor because it was her birthday. I lost by one vote. FML

#5876259
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15539) - you deserved it (43938)

On 10/18/2009 at 8:25am - misc - by presidont (woman) - Switzerland

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me "she has a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So, I hurried home only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML

#5851375
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35376) - you deserved it (2512)

On 10/16/2009 at 1:33pm - animals - by syn1734 - United States

Today, I realized I've been acting very paranoid lately. I was mugged a few weeks ago, so I've been nervous. I've been holding my hands in my pockets and looking around on my way outside from work. Apparently, that's grounds to arrest someone under suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon. FML

#5773283
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29267) - you deserved it (2600)

On 10/11/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by PackingSpaceHeat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a bad mood after being stuck in traffic for 2 hours and late for work. I was walking to my building when I saw a 100 dollar note flying my way. A man called after me for it, but being selfish I took the note in my pocket as a little reward. That man was my boss. Yes, I'm fired. FML

#5757165
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6175) - you deserved it (60350)

On 10/10/2009 at 12:30pm - money - by horniness (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I had my final divorce proceeding. The judge denied my divorce because my husband is unemployed. I can't get a divorce until he gets a job to pay child support. He hasn't had a job for 3 years. FML

#5730888
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33790) - you deserved it (2926)

On 10/08/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by branwen5 - United States

Today, I finally paid off the massive debt on my credit card. I came home only to find that almost everything I owned had been repossessed an hour before I paid the debt. FML

#5718785
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27490) - you deserved it (10259)

On 10/08/2009 at 6:24am - money - by clecker (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML

#5705079
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23810) - you deserved it (10724)

On 10/07/2009 at 4:07pm - health - by Nochnoii (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I walked into my brother's house to see him unshaven and still in pyjamas eating ice-cream straight from the tub. I said jokingly, "You're lucky you have your wife, no one else could love you." His wife had just told him she was leaving him for her orthodontist. FML

Today, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He told me he didn't. End of discussion. FML

#5525273
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38915) - you deserved it (15790)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by jentown11 (woman) - United States (Texas)



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