Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SHAMUS_the_WITTY

Offline (yesterday at 6:56pm) | Search for a member

SHAMUS_the_WITTY

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Arc, France
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 August 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14227
  • Number of comments : 409
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SHAMUS_the_WITTY :
Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's page activity

Visits<b>BMF96</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 12:08pm<b>zoratheexplora</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 1:13am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 9:28am<b>EmmaRey</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 7:17am<b>abNormal62</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 7:03am<b>AZ09_AZ09</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 3:59am<b>Leafa</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 3:47am<b>sarahyep</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 2:32am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 1:51am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:46pm<b>leahb99</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 10:26pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 6:10pm<b>ThongWarrior</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 4:18am<b>karwank</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 6:04am<b>SwagBasket</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:45am<b>Jaredphamtom</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 2:22am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 10:20am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 9:07pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 3:28pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 7:32am<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:59pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:06pm<b>mintyowlgirl</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:29am

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of SHAMUS_the_WITTY's badges

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to throw out the garbage outside. I noticed at the bottom of my can was a lot of rice. I was angry at my brother for making a mess. As I went to clean it up, the rice moved. It wasn't rice, it was maggots. FML

#8634808
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24538) - you deserved it (4210)

On 02/25/2010 at 6:46am - misc - by SayWhat (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had my final economics exam, and needed to ace it, or else I would fail the entire module. After studying all day yesterday, and pulling an all-nighter today, I managed to pull it off and get a perfect score. Unfortunately, my teacher didn't believe that it was possible, and accused me of cheating. Now I may be thrown out of college. FML

#8617932
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37019) - you deserved it (2579)

On 02/24/2010 at 4:28pm - misc - by koolkidx3 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years left me for a guy whose favorite color is camouflage. FML

#8612745
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35097) - you deserved it (5021)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

#8612395
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24800) - you deserved it (4306)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to file for bankruptcy because my ex-wife didn't want to pay for the house she didn't want me to have in the divorce, and didn't bother to have my name removed from the loan before she filed bankruptcy herself. FML

#8604257
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25247) - you deserved it (3275)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:22pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my dad screamed at me because I've been "spending too much money". He's been out of a job for 4 months and I've been giving him 300 dollars a month to help pay for bills... and his beer. FML

#8551677
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30627) - you deserved it (3032)

On 02/22/2010 at 11:38am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

#8544581
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8815) - you deserved it (21607)

On 02/22/2010 at 2:23am - intimacy - by depressed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof. I told him I was going to jump off the roof. He told me to go ahead, so I did. He failed to tell me that the snow was packed and wouldn't break my fall. I now have an injured back. He didn't tell me because he didn't think I would actually do it. FML

#8500345
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7193) - you deserved it (33565)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:14am - health - by Braced (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML

#8473008
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21301) - you deserved it (2806)

On 02/20/2010 at 9:03am - health - by bcoper - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dog barked for 30 minutes with me yelling for him to shut up. Guess that's how long it takes someone to steal the rims from my truck. Good dog. FML

#8471153
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6832) - you deserved it (36887)

On 02/20/2010 at 5:36am - animals - by rimjob - United States

Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything..." FML

#8388243
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24181) - you deserved it (5268)

On 02/17/2010 at 9:47pm - health - by Skimilk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

#8330425
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28265) - you deserved it (2724)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got back from my daughter's flat in Scotland. I got a flight there yesterday morning to surprise her on her 21st birthday. Nobody told her I was coming. When I got there, it turned out she decided to get a plane to London to surprise me. £200 on flights, and I didn't even get to see her. FML

#8207424
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24261) - you deserved it (4427)

On 02/13/2010 at 1:39pm - kids - by gordy1220 (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I got my new work schedule. I really need the hours. The boss says he can't give me more because the economy is bad. However, he did find enough hours to hire his son last week. This week? Most of my hours were erased and given to the new employee; his daughter. FML

#8116089
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25832) - you deserved it (1867)

On 02/11/2010 at 12:03am - work - by suuuucks (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "that's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "push a little harder" while disecting a frog. FML

#7894652
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28782) - you deserved it (23824)

On 02/05/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by eemp - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: