About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords
Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.
Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, I showed up at work and a coworker pointed a gun at me. After twisting his arm and leveling his face into the wall, I found out it was a lighter. Now I might lose my job over his stupid joke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45352) - you deserved it (3784)
On 08/17/2009 at 4:02pm - work - by Fibericon (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)
Today, I went through my 15 year old daughter's internet history. On google she searched 'Excuses to get away from your dad' and 5 other variations of the same thing. We were supposed to be having a father daughter day tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42481) - you deserved it (14141)
On 08/16/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by alealovespurple - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I just got done watching my cousin's two kids for four days while they were on vacation. I fed, clothed, and bathed them for four days of hell and got paid with a $5 shark tooth necklace from the Bahamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39677) - you deserved it (3684)
On 08/14/2009 at 3:34am - kids - by thebabysitter (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47590) - you deserved it (18002)
On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my parents decided to visit me. When I first got my apartment I gave them a key "just in case" and today they used this key to enter when I didn't answer their knocking. I didn't answer because I was having sex with my boyfriend. My parents saw everything. They didn't know I was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58785) - you deserved it (21560)
On 08/10/2009 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by gorgeousrenthead (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML
I agree, your life sucks (67218) - you deserved it (5843)
On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37202) - you deserved it (9752)
On 08/09/2009 at 10:13pm - health - by Ducati (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that not only has my father been cheating on my mother with another woman, but they have a child together with the same name as me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82565) - you deserved it (2348)
On 08/09/2009 at 5:26am - misc - by redbluegreen (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my family and I were coming back from a trip to the US. As we reached the border patrol we realized that we were one passport short. The border patrol lectured us for 30 minutes about how irresponsible we were for not realizing that they had forgotten to give us one of our passports back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31411) - you deserved it (5669)
On 08/09/2009 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I went to buy a cake for my daughter's birthday. She really loves Twilight, so I decided to get her a vampire-related cake. I wrote down "fangs" as a decoration. The baker thought it said "wangs". My 10 year old daughter's cake has wangs all over it. Her party is tomorrow morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36920) - you deserved it (7903)
On 08/08/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by TheCake - United States (Florida)
Today, I got a call from my parents' divorce lawyer. When I answered the phone, she thought I was my mother and told me the details about my parent's divorce. I'm a 13-year-old boy who sounds like a woman and just learned that my parents are separating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52990) - you deserved it (2428)
On 08/07/2009 at 11:57pm - misc - by madaskueuchiha (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, a very good platonic friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said 'Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!' When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said 'You've made me the happiest man alive' as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20792) - you deserved it (74689)
On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, a package came in the mail for a Judith Jones. I told the mail man that no one by that name lived here, and he took the package back. Apparently, that package was the $400 GPS that my boyfriend just purchased on Ebay. The default name on Ebay is Judith Jones, and he forgot to change it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30406) - you deserved it (6216)
On 08/05/2009 at 11:27am - money - by seylerjj (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, a friend and I drove all the way from Texas to a small town in Colorado to spend an entire uninterrupted night together. Not only did he forget to bring condoms but everything was closed by the time we got into town. We ended up playing cards on the bed instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12650) - you deserved it (31465)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38151) - you deserved it (17206)
On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)
Monday 17 June 2013
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