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SHAMUS_the_WITTY

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY
  • Town/Country : South of the Mason-Dixon, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 August 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 5183
  • Number of comments : 375
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords

Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.

Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, my car got a wheel lock because I had 5 tickets. Three of those tickets dated back to 2006. I got my car and license in 2008. FML

#7835541
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22915) - you deserved it (2311)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:11am - money - by olyswimmer (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my car got a wheel lock because I had 5 tickets. Three of those tickets dated back to 2006. I got my car and license in 2008. FML

#7835541
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22915) - you deserved it (2311)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:11am - money - by olyswimmer (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was taking my dogs for a walk, then it started to rain, and the wind went mad. I ran for cover in the trees near a bridge, slipped and fell into a river. I was soaking wet and my boots were full of water. Then to get back out of the river, I had to use stinging nettles as hand holds. FML

#7767397
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21140) - you deserved it (2869)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:27am - animals - by Jammy238 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was skiing really fast and there was a sign saying 'Slow Down'. Feeling rather good about myself I decided to jump over the sign. Whilst jumping, however, I caught my ski tips on the sign and went face first into the ground. Hard. FML

#7653625
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3811) - you deserved it (43908)

On 01/28/2010 at 9:01pm - health - by Skier (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was skiing really fast and there was a sign saying 'Slow Down'. Feeling rather good about myself I decided to jump over the sign. Whilst jumping, however, I caught my ski tips on the sign and went face first into the ground. Hard. FML

#7653625
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3811) - you deserved it (43908)

On 01/28/2010 at 9:01pm - health - by Skier (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to bleach my belly hair. I bought some body hair bleach at the drug store, and I used it exactly as instructed. When I removed it, I was horrified to see my belly was about three shades lighter than the rest of my body. The hair was still exactly the same darkness. FML

#7624782
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13838) - you deserved it (18799)

On 01/27/2010 at 9:41pm - misc - by spleechick - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

#7598826
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9488) - you deserved it (20068)

On 01/26/2010 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML

#7594942
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31673) - you deserved it (1886)

On 01/26/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by newniece (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was ecstatic after spending the night with my longtime crush, when he told me he felt something. I poured my heart and soul out to him, confessing my love for him too. Unfortunately, he was referring to a lump in my left breast, which I now need to get checked out. FML

#7544484
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25371) - you deserved it (2953)

On 01/24/2010 at 1:12pm - health - by LadyLump (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it... Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML

#7529834
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9479) - you deserved it (20538)

On 01/23/2010 at 9:14pm - misc - by ceedee - United States (California)

Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML

#7490681
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20906) - you deserved it (4595)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Parental (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

#7482237
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47053) - you deserved it (3731)

On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. And then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him. Giving me the evil eye. FML

#7467735
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26307) - you deserved it (2099)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to my cell phone alarm buzzing. It wasn't time to wake up yet, so I snoozed it. It buzzed again, this time with "One New Voicemail." I had "snoozed" my nephew. Stationed in Iraq. FML

#7449999
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22361) - you deserved it (9250)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)



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