Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SHAMUS_the_WITTY

Offline (29 minutes ago) | Search for a member

SHAMUS_the_WITTY

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Arc, France
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 August 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 18440
  • Number of comments : 412
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SHAMUS_the_WITTY :
Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's page activity

Visits<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 6:18pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 6:06pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 6:32pm<b>THE_GLOW_CLOUD</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 12:23pm<b>UberMom</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 1:46am<b>AirplaneFan03</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 2:14pm<b>spicyburrito</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 12:47pm<b>Sunkkissed</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 8:57am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 8:38am<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 4:25am<b>Katdurin</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 3:36am<b>UncleCactus</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 3:26am<b>minxxx</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 10:36pm<b>tgodluke</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 8:30pm<b>Mewling_Quim</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 2:47am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 8:15pm<b>xninix</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 11:06pm<b>CandienInEurope</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 9:07pm

Fucked!<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 9:23am<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 7:00am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 12:34pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 3:28pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 7:32am<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:59pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:06pm<b>mintyowlgirl</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:29am

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of SHAMUS_the_WITTY's badges

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that I'm a dad. My ex from 8 years ago contacted me through facebook. I'm happy I have a kid, but apparently she only contacted me because she wants me to start paying child support, now her boyfriend who provided for them left. FML

#12938106
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31902) - you deserved it (5789)

On 09/06/2010 at 7:21pm - kids - by newdad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML

#12887269
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31519) - you deserved it (6787)

On 09/03/2010 at 3:59pm - health - by Jesska (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was life guarding at a community pool and noticed a toddler go under water. I quickly jumped in and suddenly got a charlie horse which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML

#12843819
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29033) - you deserved it (9634)

On 08/31/2010 at 8:35pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

#12803986
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34823) - you deserved it (7219)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:37am - intimacy - by bkay26 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

#12753768
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15770) - you deserved it (51981)

On 08/26/2010 at 9:32am - intimacy - by H8TR (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

#12753768
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15770) - you deserved it (51981)

On 08/26/2010 at 9:32am - intimacy - by H8TR (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I made a mistake at work that got 7 people fired. I'm scared to leave the office because they're all outside. FML

#12740190
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16637) - you deserved it (67746)

On 08/25/2010 at 3:13pm - work - by Joel - United States (California)

Today, I walked out of the operating room at the end of an emergency case. I spent ten minutes talking to a woman about her son before we realized I was talking to the wrong family. FML

#12710116
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12327) - you deserved it (27334)

On 08/23/2010 at 10:17pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML

#12638821
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30999) - you deserved it (3202)

On 08/20/2010 at 2:14am - misc - by home owner - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to clear up some storm damage. I carefully cut a tree that was threatening to fall on my house. It fell on my neighbor's house instead. He's taking me to court for damages. FML

#12365331
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16323) - you deserved it (35139)

On 08/07/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Zinfandel (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home from work to find the lock to my bike busted and my bike stolen. The worst part was a nicer bike was sitting right next to it without a lock. FML

#12316172
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29072) - you deserved it (2474)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by Amandajean32 - United States

Today, I went to the cinema with a girl I like. Knowing she has a bit of a soft spot for me, I was keen to sit in the back row. Too bad her sister tagged along, insisted that we sit somewhere else, and scolded me every time I so much looked at her. I ended up paying for the unwanted guest as well. FML

#12314301
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35007) - you deserved it (4864)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:14pm - misc - by drfeelgood93 - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I heard on a local radio a song I wrote almost 2 years ago. Apparently, after my family and I moved away, my former band found a new guitar player, and that song is now the first single of their debut LP. FML

#12278054
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45090) - you deserved it (3919)

On 08/03/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by nowhereman1990 (man) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was woken up because the police were pounding on my door, and saying I am under arrest for stealing road signs. My friends went drinking last night and thought it would be funny to steal seven stop signs, four bus stop signs, and two children crossing signs then plant them on my front lawn. FML

#12120834
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41364) - you deserved it (4721)

On 07/26/2010 at 8:26am - misc - by Busted (man) - South Africa

Today, I was looking for a parking spot and finally found one. Trying to figure out if the spot was legal, I asked a cop that had pulled up. He said it was fine. I came back 3 hours later to a parking ticket. FML

#11945278
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41219) - you deserved it (3849)

On 07/17/2010 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: