Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SHAMUS_the_WITTY

Offline (the 10/21/2014 at 3:35am) | Search for a member

SHAMUS_the_WITTY

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 August 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8668
  • Number of comments : 389
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords

Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.

Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's page activity

Visits<b>Jonny_Blaze0017</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:59am<b>Purrrvana</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 2:39pm<b>mintyowlgirl</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 7:29pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:36pm<b>turtlerae4</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:26pm<b>somebodywhocares</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:33am<b>vindown</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 9:02am<b>chipinn</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:47am<b>charethcutestory</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 12:36am<b>Ambrily</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:03pm<b>Bradley_Dillon</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:03pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:17pm<b>staaacey</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 6:11am<b>martin8337</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:26pm<b>xReDMemory</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 1:38pm<b>imasexyburrito</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:46pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 6:26pm<b>pilusepi</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 3:43pm

Liked!<b>mintyowlgirl</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:29am

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of SHAMUS_the_WITTY's badges

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad borrowed my new iPad to amuse him while he was in the shower without my knowledge. The iPad is now completely ruined, and my dad is refusing to buy me a new one. He says, "How was I to know that it wasn't waterproof?" FML

#13158291
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41746) - you deserved it (3453)

On 09/22/2010 at 4:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend who's sick, he told me he felt sleepy due to meds and was going to bed. I jokingly said, "you're going to call your other girlfriend, aren't you?" There was silence before I heard, "you weren't supposed to find out like this." FML

#13068914
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47640) - you deserved it (3991)

On 09/16/2010 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got lost trying to find the hospital my sister was giving birth in. I stopped at a store to call my mom for directions. A cop pulled up beside me and knocked loudly on my window asking me to get out. The store had been robbed and I am now a suspect. FML

#13065604
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30182) - you deserved it (2133)

On 09/15/2010 at 8:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad and his girlfriend left for a 10-day vacation. They booked an expensive beach-house. I'm an A grade student and just last month, he stopped paying my school fees because he 'couldn't afford it.' Oh, and he's making me feed the dog while he's away. FML

#12959581
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29330) - you deserved it (3292)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:35am - money - by schoolkiddo (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

#12953032
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52131) - you deserved it (7850)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore

Today, I found out that I'm a dad. My ex from 8 years ago contacted me through facebook. I'm happy I have a kid, but apparently she only contacted me because she wants me to start paying child support, now her boyfriend who provided for them left. FML

#12938106
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28073) - you deserved it (5424)

On 09/06/2010 at 7:21pm - kids - by newdad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I'm a dad. My ex from 8 years ago contacted me through facebook. I'm happy I have a kid, but apparently she only contacted me because she wants me to start paying child support, now her boyfriend who provided for them left. FML

#12938106
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28073) - you deserved it (5424)

On 09/06/2010 at 7:21pm - kids - by newdad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML

#12887269
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28239) - you deserved it (6305)

On 09/03/2010 at 3:59pm - health - by Jesska (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was life guarding at a community pool and noticed a toddler go under water. I quickly jumped in and suddenly got a charlie horse which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML

#12843819
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25889) - you deserved it (9069)

On 08/31/2010 at 8:35pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

#12803986
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30949) - you deserved it (6677)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:37am - intimacy - by bkay26 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

#12753768
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13693) - you deserved it (47771)

On 08/26/2010 at 9:32am - intimacy - by H8TR (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

#12753768
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13693) - you deserved it (47771)

On 08/26/2010 at 9:32am - intimacy - by H8TR (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I made a mistake at work that got 7 people fired. I'm scared to leave the office because they're all outside. FML

#12740190
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14643) - you deserved it (62866)

On 08/25/2010 at 3:13pm - work - by Joel - United States (California)

Today, I walked out of the operating room at the end of an emergency case. I spent ten minutes talking to a woman about her son before we realized I was talking to the wrong family. FML

#12710116
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10416) - you deserved it (24390)

On 08/23/2010 at 10:17pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML

#12638821
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27412) - you deserved it (2860)

On 08/20/2010 at 2:14am - misc - by home owner - United States (New York)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: