Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SHAMUS_the_WITTY

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

SHAMUS_the_WITTY

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 August 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9953
  • Number of comments : 399
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords

Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.

Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's page activity

Visits<b>BunchieRules</b> - 23 hours ago<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 9:41pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 8:41pm<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 2:35am<b>marcusaaaa</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 2:38am<b>Aquaman911</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 7:39am<b>_liam_72_</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 7:55pm<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 12:59pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 8:42am<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:03am<b>Gwen4var</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 2:35pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 6:06pm<b>tonimari3</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:50pm<b>Jonny_Blaze0017</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:59am<b>Purrrvana</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 2:39pm<b>mintyowlgirl</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 7:29pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:36pm<b>turtlerae4</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:26pm

Liked!<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:59pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:06pm<b>mintyowlgirl</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:29am

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of SHAMUS_the_WITTY's badges

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, my brand new iPhone 4 was stolen from my bag. I asked the bartender if anyone had handed it in. I soon found out that while I was talking to her, someone swiped my wallet from the bag too. FML

#13908824
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24528) - you deserved it (7446)

On 11/20/2010 at 5:40am - misc - by misc (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML

#13873567
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23055) - you deserved it (5260)

On 11/17/2010 at 3:08am - intimacy - by nilssonfan (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I shadowed an ultrasound technician for my future career. She did an ultrasound on me to show me how to do the job. I found out I was pregnant. FML

#13863853
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47782) - you deserved it (11841)

On 11/16/2010 at 10:34am - misc - by nicolette5785452 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

#13841741
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55468) - you deserved it (2705)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I got my science test back. I thought I did a horrible job on it, but only three were circled. I was happy but doubtful that I did so well, so I asked my teacher just to make sure. He said it was faster to circle the correct answers. FML

#13835168
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10758) - you deserved it (25113)

On 11/14/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by lovemyteacher (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML

#13787466
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48479) - you deserved it (17706)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend started his first day of work. After saying our goodbyes, I went into our bedroom to get changed, picked up one of my blouses and found a camera, still recording. I guess someone has major trust issues. FML

#13729555
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26527) - you deserved it (3666)

On 11/05/2010 at 7:36pm - love - by distressed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my own boyfriend admitted that he can't name one single thing he likes about me without naming something "physical." FML

#13642376
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25804) - you deserved it (5877)

On 10/29/2010 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML

#13612697
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10847) - you deserved it (30147)

On 10/27/2010 at 7:47am - kids - by Lisaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I watched a grizzled, old gas station attendant with a stain on her blouse use my driver's license to pick something out of her teeth. FML

#13559030
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30679) - you deserved it (2497)

On 10/23/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML

#13537704
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9054) - you deserved it (42882)

On 10/21/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by Victoria - United States (Georgia)

Today, I received two cards in the mail for my late husband for his birthday. He has been dead for four years now, and the cards were from our two children, who live several states away. This is the fourth time it's happened, and neither of them answer my calls. Ever. FML

#13514836
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42369) - you deserved it (3312)

On 10/19/2010 at 6:58pm - kids - by widow - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received two cards in the mail for my late husband for his birthday. He has been dead for four years now, and the cards were from our two children, who live several states away. This is the fourth time it's happened, and neither of them answer my calls. Ever. FML

#13514836
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42369) - you deserved it (3312)

On 10/19/2010 at 6:58pm - kids - by widow - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to see his 72-year-old mom who just had minor surgery on her abdomen. When we asked how she was healing, she lifted up her nightgown to show us a bruise near her belly button. She wasn't wearing any underwear. FML

#13507250
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29652) - you deserved it (3133)

On 10/19/2010 at 1:20am - health - by coeurdlucky - United States



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: