About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords
Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.
Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, I had my final divorce proceeding. The judge denied my divorce because my husband is unemployed. I can't get a divorce until he gets a job to pay child support. He hasn't had a job for 3 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32647) - you deserved it (2836)
On 10/08/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by branwen5 - United States
Today, I finally paid off the massive debt on my credit card. I came home only to find that almost everything I owned had been repossessed an hour before I paid the debt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26869) - you deserved it (10125)
On 10/08/2009 at 6:24am - money - by clecker (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21005) - you deserved it (8608)
On 10/07/2009 at 4:07pm - health - by Nochnoii (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)
Today, I walked into my brother's house to see him unshaven and still in pyjamas eating ice-cream straight from the tub. I said jokingly, "You're lucky you have your wife, no one else could love you." His wife had just told him she was leaving him for her orthodontist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31919) - you deserved it (9362)
On 10/01/2009 at 9:19am - love - by FootInMouth (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He told me he didn't. End of discussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35041) - you deserved it (14538)
On 09/28/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by jentown11 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (5963) - you deserved it (17622)
On 09/28/2009 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Oops54321 (man) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, after coming home from hanging out with a few friends, my mom told me that I shouldn't hang out with them any more. Why? Because "they are way hotter than I am and I'll never get a boyfriend if I'm always the ugly one in my group." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34248) - you deserved it (2217)
On 09/27/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was searching for a travel bag. I looked in my parents room for one. I found one alright, with all there sex toys in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12358) - you deserved it (3784)
On 09/25/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by R-R-R-Ray (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, I bought a fish bowl and a fish for $15. I brought him home and sat him on my desk. Everything was going well until the shelf gave out and his bowl slid off of the shelf... onto my $2,000 computer. The computer is fried and is not covered by the insurance, the fish is fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26634) - you deserved it (7674)
On 09/23/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by Bubba (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29190) - you deserved it (5297)
On 09/22/2009 at 2:20am - money - by robbedonCTA (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10997) - you deserved it (36424)
On 09/22/2009 at 12:37am - health - by Cpt_Concerned (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (62059) - you deserved it (2795)
On 09/19/2009 at 5:04pm - misc - by weddingcrashed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38415) - you deserved it (4974)
On 09/18/2009 at 7:27pm - love - by luvizwar (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my (now former) best friend kicked me out of the band I started because I wasn't 'dedicated enough' after a 3 day 'holiday' to visit my dying uncle. He also during this 3 day 'holiday' convinced my girl friend to leave me and date him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46087) - you deserved it (2167)
On 09/16/2009 at 4:25am - misc - by dj163 (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I am still coughing. I was diagnosed with whooping cough last week, which apparently cannot be treated. Basically, it appears I'm a 19th century English peasant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29679) - you deserved it (3008)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:33am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
