About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords
Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.
Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9171) - you deserved it (29033)
On 11/17/2009 at 11:12am - misc - by Araya (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, a neighbour called to say my water tank burst. A colleague followed me home to help, took off his shirt so it wouldn't get wet and climbed through my window to get to the roof. My boyfriend unexpectedly came home as we were emerging from the bedroom. My colleague was still buttoning his shirt up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36163) - you deserved it (4212)
On 11/15/2009 at 3:42am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my Dad decided to take his medicine before eating. He passed out with his face in a plate of chocolate cake. He wasn't responsive so I called the paramedics. When he got to the hospital, the doctor asked him if he knew why he was there. He replied, "Because my stupid daughter over reacted." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25624) - you deserved it (2218)
On 11/14/2009 at 7:35am - misc - by Kassiopia (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19963) - you deserved it (5291)
On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went through with my elaborate plans to propose to my girlfriend with creativity. I took her skydiving and proposed in midair. She rejected. Why? She wanted a more "traditional" proposal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25695) - you deserved it (5787)
On 11/13/2009 at 2:14am - love - by rejectedmidair (man) - United States (California)
Today, as I stepped into the shower, I slipped and fell over the edge of the tub, pulling the shower curtain down with me. I called my roommate to help me up as I put on a towel over me. But before she could help me up, she grabbed her phone to take a picture. The picture became a mass text. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22130) - you deserved it (2468)
On 11/04/2009 at 12:40pm - misc - by xo007 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, the police came to my door and told me about a woman who called the cops on me because she said that I had been following her in my car. We were on the highway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23455) - you deserved it (1087)
On 11/02/2009 at 11:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went on a date, and within the first five minutes, he said, "Before we go any further and get anymore serious, you need to know a few things, I have kissed a guy drunk because it was a dare, and have a $400 silk rose Victoria's Secret blanket." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21353) - you deserved it (3981)
On 11/02/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by Shawty (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went to a family counseling session because my parents are getting a divorce. I told the counselor that I feel guilty because I feel like I caused it. She says that there is no way I could have caused it, that it's my parents' problem when my mom interrupts her to say "Yes she did." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34262) - you deserved it (2436)
On 11/02/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by problemchild (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35487) - you deserved it (2489)
On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9218) - you deserved it (34224)
On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I found out you can get arrested if your landlord quits paying the garbage bill and doesn't tell you. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25978) - you deserved it (1201)
On 10/27/2009 at 2:46am - misc - by TrashHound (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my husband's daughter told us that she's 5 months pregnant. I'm going to be a step grandmother and I'm only 23 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15283) - you deserved it (33669)
On 10/26/2009 at 12:27am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9317) - you deserved it (59718)
On 10/25/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by stixx (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33582) - you deserved it (4599)
On 10/24/2009 at 9:14am - love - by Oops (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Monday 20 May 2013
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