About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords
Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.
Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29616) - you deserved it (9242)
On 01/19/2010 at 10:59pm - misc - by NYCguy (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boss told me when I transfer to a Target in Orlando I should work in the clothing department. He said it would be a good way for me to meet chicks. I told him all the girls who work in clothing in that store are ugly as hell. Apparently his daughters work there. I never knew that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5906) - you deserved it (17836)
On 01/08/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was going to the bathroom. As I was about to wipe, I noticed that the toilet paper had butterflies printed on it. Never before had I felt bad for wiping my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5917) - you deserved it (18217)
On 01/07/2010 at 9:43am - misc - by Doomy (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28108) - you deserved it (2116)
On 01/06/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28108) - you deserved it (2116)
On 01/06/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, I found out my dad spent most of the $500 I earned from mowing lawns on an Xbox 360 for himself. He was the one who encouraged me to put the money in the bank for college and to learn responsibility. I'm 14 years old. He's 37. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26318) - you deserved it (1750)
On 01/06/2010 at 1:19pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, after my girlfriend telling me for years that she would marry me in a heartbeat, I finally proposed. She said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32274) - you deserved it (2870)
On 01/05/2010 at 5:45am - love - by Chewy (man) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I was told that, although I was sick on the last day before break, they would still accept the 24 page essay that I had written. Tonight, as I went to print it out, I found that my dad had "cleaned up a bit" on my computer, including the documents from last semester. I have school tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21873) - you deserved it (2094)
On 01/05/2010 at 2:18am - work - by Himynameisjacob (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17718) - you deserved it (4275)
On 01/02/2010 at 8:17pm - love - by garfwebba (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, my mom sold the car I've been working on for the last few years for 100 dollars. To buy gas for her car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30891) - you deserved it (1722)
On 12/28/2009 at 4:39pm - money - by Butter_Cup - United States (California)
Today, I waited anxiously until midnight to open Christmas presents. As the clock struck midnight, I ran out into the living room, super excited to open my presents, only to discover that everyone in my house had already opened their presents and gone to bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17425) - you deserved it (3553)
On 12/25/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by iFail (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I told her best friend the plan the day before. I got reservations to a restaurant on the beach, and we were going to arrive via boat. She never showed. Her parents called me asking why she left town to go to Paris. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25626) - you deserved it (2043)
On 12/24/2009 at 6:37pm - love - by hoplessG (man) - United States
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20898) - you deserved it (9425)
On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I drove the six hours to LA to attend my Uncle's birthday party. When I tried to get off at the exit, it took me two hours just to get onto the street where the club was. By the time I showed up, the party was already over, so I ended up going to a Denny's. I drove eight hours for a Denny's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18963) - you deserved it (3550)
On 12/23/2009 at 5:24am - misc - by BeautifulDisastre (woman) - United States (California)
Today, the elderly couple next door asked me to cut down a tree in their yard. It turns out they told me to cut down the wrong tree, and I cut down the tree they got married under. They now hate me and tell me they plan to sue me for damage to property. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26830) - you deserved it (3050)
On 12/23/2009 at 3:46am - work - by jordigs (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
