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SHAMUS_the_WITTY

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY
  • Town/Country : South of the Mason-Dixon, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 August 1990 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2183
  • Number of comments : 289
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords

Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.

Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of SHAMUS_the_WITTY's badges

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32941) - you deserved it (9010)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using Lady GaGa lyrics. FML

#11723060
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54839) - you deserved it (6725)

On 07/07/2010 at 12:40pm - love - by whatheffers (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML

#10853555
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21990) - you deserved it (3775)

On 05/30/2010 at 12:01am - animals - by misTreated (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

#10760568
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49074) - you deserved it (2684)

On 05/25/2010 at 7:06pm - love - by DHarman (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that, since getting my tongue ring, it has become imprudent to test 9-volt batteries with my tongue. FML

#10586322
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3827) - you deserved it (30359)

On 05/17/2010 at 7:09am - misc - by Zapped - United States (New York)

Today, I came home after ten hours at work to find my unemployed wife and 4 kids sprawled out watching TV waiting for me to get home and cook for them. I had to wash all the dishes first because they didn't feel like getting up or helping. FML

#10499435
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32079) - you deserved it (6459)

On 05/13/2010 at 12:07am - work - by justkillm3 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20573) - you deserved it (50299)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

#9519577
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8770) - you deserved it (46032)

On 03/31/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by darthmilfious - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bullied a kid at school, just so someone would talk to me. FML

#9154406
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12016) - you deserved it (53451)

On 03/17/2010 at 5:22am - kids - by Kid (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML

#9152447
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27048) - you deserved it (2964)

On 03/17/2010 at 2:12am - intimacy - by today -

Today, I loaded up all of my belongings into my Dad's truck to head back to my home state. After two hours of playing Tetris with my furniture, I threw a tarp over everything and sealed it tight with straps. When I went to start the truck, I couldn't find my keys. There's a chance I just dropped them outside, but my best bet is that they're probably in some nook in the bed of the truck. FML

#9048049
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14503) - you deserved it (3108)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:26pm - misc - by AprilFlowers - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15748) - you deserved it (1681)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up with one of the worst migraines I've had in months. My mother (who thinks I'm a hypochondriac) began to scream at me about "making up an illness". When I asked for my meds, she called me an addict and dumped my $300 prescription down the sink. FML

#8899793
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21733) - you deserved it (1811)

On 03/07/2010 at 7:16pm - health - by space_cadet90818 (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, a soldier in my unit had unknowingly lost a GPS in the woods and my section was sent to go find it. After hours of wading through chest high swamps in 32 degree weather, the GPS was found, thanks to the soldier who lost it. It was in his vest. FML

#8852783
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20409) - you deserved it (1324)

On 03/05/2010 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a soldier in my unit had unknowingly lost a GPS in the woods and my section was sent to go find it. After hours of wading through chest high swamps in 32 degree weather, the GPS was found, thanks to the soldier who lost it. It was in his vest. FML

#8852783
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20409) - you deserved it (1324)

On 03/05/2010 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



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