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  • Town/Country : Arc, France
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 August 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 24130
  • Number of comments : 413
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SHAMUS_the_WITTY :
Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's page activity

Visits<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 3:46pm<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 12:13pm<b>Jkalia</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 12:14pm<b>AirMelon</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 11:45pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 9:11am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 6:56pm<b>random2212</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 10:38pm<b>courtly25</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 10:11pm<b>alecspangler</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 8:52pm<b>EwahWeeWah</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 9:18pm<b>DragonBorn69</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 1:16pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 6:18pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 6:06pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 6:32pm<b>THE_GLOW_CLOUD</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 12:23pm<b>UberMom</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 1:46am<b>AirplaneFan03</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 2:14pm<b>spicyburrito</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 12:47pm

Fucked!<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 9:23am<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 7:00am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 12:34pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 3:28pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 7:32am<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:59pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:06pm<b>mintyowlgirl</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:29am

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's FML badges


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of SHAMUS_the_WITTY's badges

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, I applied to live in a barn. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2011 at 1:39am / United States / Money

Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML

by wags34 / 08/22/2011 at 10:57am / United States (Arkansas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

by W1D0 / 08/20/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I got accepted into University onto a course I don't want to do, but my parents said they would disown me if I didn't go. I believe them: they haven't spoken to my shop assistant sister in about three years now. FML

by Academia / 08/18/2011 at 4:45am / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Work

Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML

by Frank / 08/17/2011 at 2:50am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML

by worried / 08/16/2011 at 9:20am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Love

Today, while out shopping, I noticed a seedy bum kept following a girl around the store. Trying to be a good samaritan, I trailed them into the street. The bum jogged up behind her and looked like he was about to grab her, so I ran up and tackled him to the ground. Turns out he was her father. FML

by fuck / 08/14/2011 at 3:31pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

by bob / 08/11/2011 at 8:56am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML

by Nekro_Kat / 08/09/2011 at 11:00pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML

by Username / 08/08/2011 at 8:03pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

by thehumanshield / 08/05/2011 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

by ohcrap / 08/02/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my grandmother updated her will. Previously, it denied inheritance to family members with non-white spouses, and any mixed-raced children. Now it does the same with politically correct terminology. She then bragged about how accepting she is in front of my Korean husband and our daughter. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2011 at 8:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

by cutiekenz21 / 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

by someone / 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm / United States / Intimacy