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SHAMUS_the_WITTY

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 August 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7255
  • Number of comments : 379
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords

Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.

Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's page activity

Visits<b>llamasbederpin</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 6:02pm<b>spencr</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:45pm<b>leonlee2002</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 10:37pm<b>thefavoredbrony</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 4:02pm<b>pumpkinpii</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:07am<b>coolio4120</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 11:31am<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 5:05pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 1:14pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 10:15am<b>callmefireman</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 1:28am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 6:54pm<b>higgy6969</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 2:55am<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 10:26pm<b>IgneelDragneel</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 3:31pm<b>coconutcocus</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 11:36pm<b>skyeyez9</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 10:50pm<b>xAttackAttackx</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 9:08pm<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 7:01am

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

#17526290
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33197) - you deserved it (4466)

On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got accepted into University onto a course I don't want to do, but my parents said they would disown me if I didn't go. I believe them: they haven't spoken to my shop assistant sister in about three years now. FML

#17507560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29892) - you deserved it (2518)

On 08/18/2011 at 4:45am - work - by Academia (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML

#17497068
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32887) - you deserved it (5599)

On 08/17/2011 at 2:50am - intimacy - by Frank (man) - United States (California)

Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML

#17488999
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14609) - you deserved it (49354)

On 08/16/2011 at 9:20am - love - by worried (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, while out shopping, I noticed a seedy bum kept following a girl around the store. Trying to be a good samaritan, I trailed them into the street. The bum jogged up behind her and looked like he was about to grab her, so I ran up and tackled him to the ground. Turns out he was her father. FML

#17471186
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22707) - you deserved it (13550)

On 08/14/2011 at 3:31pm - misc - by fuck (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

#17438897
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46517) - you deserved it (4853)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by bob - United States (Texas)

Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML

#17423512
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28954) - you deserved it (3353)

On 08/09/2011 at 11:00pm - animals - by Nekro_Kat - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML

#17410758
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30936) - you deserved it (12131)

On 08/08/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42887) - you deserved it (14360)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, my grandmother updated her will. Previously, it denied inheritance to family members with non-white spouses, and any mixed-raced children. Now it does the same with politically correct terminology. She then bragged about how accepting she is in front of my Korean husband and our daughter. FML

#17336031
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30062) - you deserved it (3189)

On 08/01/2011 at 8:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

#17313020
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39574) - you deserved it (7510)

On 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by cutiekenz21 - United States (Oregon)

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

#17298408
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29420) - you deserved it (4845)

On 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm - misc - by someone - United States

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

#17243352
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10394) - you deserved it (31999)

On 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm - misc - by cadillacfrank - United States

Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML

#17227396
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36012) - you deserved it (7566)

On 07/23/2011 at 6:29am - misc - by tgd4444 (man) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML

#17162129
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38034) - you deserved it (5689)

On 07/18/2011 at 11:17am - kids - by xBubbles38 - United States



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