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SHAMUS_the_WITTY

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY
  • Town/Country : South of the Mason-Dixon, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 August 1990 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2026
  • Number of comments : 284
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords

Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.

Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of SHAMUS_the_WITTY's badges

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, I was woken up because the police were pounding on my door, and saying I am under arrest for stealing road signs. My friends went drinking last night and thought it would be funny to steal seven stop signs, four bus stop signs, and two children crossing signs then plant them on my front lawn. FML

#12120834
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31452) - you deserved it (3425)

On 07/26/2010 at 8:26am - misc - by Busted (man) - South Africa

Today, I was looking for a parking spot and finally found one. Trying to figure out if the spot was legal, I asked a cop that had pulled up. He said it was fine. I came back 3 hours later to a parking ticket. FML

#11945278
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31300) - you deserved it (2618)

On 07/17/2010 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11264) - you deserved it (41416)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11264) - you deserved it (41416)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. I was telling my friends a story when my mom started talking. I simply said 'Mom...' so she'd realize she interrupted me. She gave me the finger and called me rude in front of all my friends. FML

#11923492
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25714) - you deserved it (4447)

On 07/16/2010 at 3:38pm - misc - by apple (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I found out my mother had remarried, and that I was getting a stepfather and stepbrother. However I found out about it 30 minutes before we left to pick them up from the airport, and also found out that I'm losing my bedroom. FML

#11895645
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32662) - you deserved it (1952)

On 07/15/2010 at 6:52am - misc - by photonut13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31662) - you deserved it (7556)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using Lady GaGa lyrics. FML

#11723060
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54765) - you deserved it (6721)

On 07/07/2010 at 12:40pm - love - by whatheffers (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML

#10853555
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21952) - you deserved it (3772)

On 05/30/2010 at 12:01am - animals - by misTreated (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

#10760568
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48968) - you deserved it (2683)

On 05/25/2010 at 7:06pm - love - by DHarman (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that, since getting my tongue ring, it has become imprudent to test 9-volt batteries with my tongue. FML

#10586322
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3820) - you deserved it (30308)

On 05/17/2010 at 7:09am - misc - by Zapped - United States (New York)

Today, I came home after ten hours at work to find my unemployed wife and 4 kids sprawled out watching TV waiting for me to get home and cook for them. I had to wash all the dishes first because they didn't feel like getting up or helping. FML

#10499435
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32027) - you deserved it (6454)

On 05/13/2010 at 12:07am - work - by justkillm3 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20536) - you deserved it (50215)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

#9519577
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8754) - you deserved it (45925)

On 03/31/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by darthmilfious - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bullied a kid at school, just so someone would talk to me. FML

#9154406
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11992) - you deserved it (53294)

On 03/17/2010 at 5:22am - kids - by Kid (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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