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SHAMUS_the_WITTY

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 August 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8246
  • Number of comments : 384
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords

Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.

Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's page activity

Visits<b>xReDMemory</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 1:38pm<b>imasexyburrito</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:46pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 6:26pm<b>pilusepi</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 3:43pm<b>Im_a_GOAT</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 1:40pm<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 2:13am<b>metalscales</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 10:51pm<b>SampleSext</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 9:20pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 12:18am<b>Melonxo</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 11:13pm<b>llamasbederpin</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 6:02pm<b>spencr</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:45pm<b>leonlee2002</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 10:37pm<b>thefavoredbrony</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 4:02pm<b>pumpkinpii</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:07am<b>coolio4120</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 11:31am<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 5:05pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 1:14pm

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's FML badges

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The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

#17573986
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24298) - you deserved it (2340)

On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML

#17572437
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8128) - you deserved it (22763)

On 08/24/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by josie345 - United States

Today, at a party I bumped into a friend of my ex. We caught the same bus home. He started telling me about my ex's "totally insane" ex-girlfriend. He refused to believe me when I told him he was talking about me. I had to sit there for half an hour as my personality was ripped to shreds. FML

#17563055
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27848) - you deserved it (5201)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:44pm - love - by Embarassed (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I applied to live in a barn. FML

#17554659
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22337) - you deserved it (7698)

On 08/23/2011 at 1:39am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

#17526290
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33265) - you deserved it (4472)

On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got accepted into University onto a course I don't want to do, but my parents said they would disown me if I didn't go. I believe them: they haven't spoken to my shop assistant sister in about three years now. FML

#17507560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29987) - you deserved it (2523)

On 08/18/2011 at 4:45am - work - by Academia (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML

#17497068
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33086) - you deserved it (5619)

On 08/17/2011 at 2:50am - intimacy - by Frank (man) - United States (California)

Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML

#17488999
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14857) - you deserved it (49843)

On 08/16/2011 at 9:20am - love - by worried (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, while out shopping, I noticed a seedy bum kept following a girl around the store. Trying to be a good samaritan, I trailed them into the street. The bum jogged up behind her and looked like he was about to grab her, so I ran up and tackled him to the ground. Turns out he was her father. FML

#17471186
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22775) - you deserved it (13577)

On 08/14/2011 at 3:31pm - misc - by fuck (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

#17438897
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46614) - you deserved it (4855)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by bob - United States (Texas)

Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML

#17423512
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29007) - you deserved it (3358)

On 08/09/2011 at 11:00pm - animals - by Nekro_Kat - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML

#17410758
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31020) - you deserved it (12144)

On 08/08/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43418) - you deserved it (14502)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, my grandmother updated her will. Previously, it denied inheritance to family members with non-white spouses, and any mixed-raced children. Now it does the same with politically correct terminology. She then bragged about how accepting she is in front of my Korean husband and our daughter. FML

#17336031
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30128) - you deserved it (3195)

On 08/01/2011 at 8:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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