Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SHAMUS_the_WITTY

Offline (the 06/17/2015 at 6:24am) | Search for a member

SHAMUS_the_WITTY

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Arc, France
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 August 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15566
  • Number of comments : 409
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SHAMUS_the_WITTY :
Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - 3 hours ago<b>redstone7693</b> - yesterday at 12:50am<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 9:29pm<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 6:34am<b>Life_sucksXx</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 11:25am<b>CandienInEurope</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 11:18pm<b>seetei</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 3:42pm<b>pats2004</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:07pm<b>BMF96</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 12:08pm<b>zoratheexplora</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 1:13am<b>EmmaRey</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 7:17am<b>abNormal62</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 7:03am<b>AZ09_AZ09</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 3:59am<b>Leafa</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 3:47am<b>sarahyep</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 2:32am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 1:51am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:46pm<b>leahb99</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 10:26pm

Fucked!<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 12:34pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 3:28pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 7:32am<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:59pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:06pm<b>mintyowlgirl</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:29am

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of SHAMUS_the_WITTY's badges

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

#20833377
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56448) - you deserved it (3553)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I let a friend read a draft of the novel I'm writing. She claimed the antagonist is blatantly based on her, and threatened to sue me if I don't pay her royalties. The antagonist is an ancient, insane goblin witch. I guess I see now how this confusion could arise. FML

#20829558
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44352) - you deserved it (3181)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm - work - by pardon my English :$ (woman) - France

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

#20827779
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46513) - you deserved it (6221)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm - kids - by JuggaloSlasher15 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

#20825004
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44117) - you deserved it (13952)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by ImNotFat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home a little earlier than usual, only to walk in on my dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from my mom's mouth. FML

#20822450
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51110) - you deserved it (4856)

On 08/05/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by NO NO NO (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, some aggressive asshole was tailgating me on my way home, bumping into me twice. I got scared and kicked my car into high gear and got out of there. Seconds later, a traffic cop came out of nowhere and pulled me over for speeding. FML

#20820283
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43991) - you deserved it (8436)

On 08/04/2013 at 12:53pm - misc - by no, don't save me or nothing (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML

#20815318
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59574) - you deserved it (6568)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by countryblumpkin (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

#20814794
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69900) - you deserved it (6007)

On 08/01/2013 at 3:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was told that I have to apply to keep the job that I've held for the past two years. There are so many other applicants that it's basically a free-for-all. FML

#20813366
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43340) - you deserved it (3140)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:47pm - work - by TheStressComesFree (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I called to confirm the appointment that I made over six months ago at the tattoo studio. Turns out my particular artist "doesn't work Tuesdays" and that they also miraculously have no record of my appointment, nor the cash deposit I had to put down. FML

Today, my fiancé confronted me about our wedding arrangements. Apparently, if he's not allowed to wear a duct-tape tuxedo and have a Jesus impersonator as his best man, the wedding is off. FML

Today, after mowing my neighbor's lawn for 3 years for free without being asked to, he finally came out while I was in the middle of it. Expecting a "Thank you" or some cash, he instead said, "You missed a spot" and walked back inside. FML

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58761) - you deserved it (12304)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend convinced me do an Insanity workout with him. I passed out during the warmup. FML

#20776146
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46782) - you deserved it (12057)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I got head lice, so I went to a store to buy medicated shampoo. When checking out the cashier saw my shampoo and asked me to leave immediately to protect the other customers. He didn't let me buy the shampoo. FML

#20775381
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55635) - you deserved it (3343)

On 07/11/2013 at 12:52am - health - by frustrated - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: