About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords
Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.
Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, I was waiting for my food at McDonald's. I watched the most obese, sweaty man sneeze into the chips, wipe his nose on his hand and use his hand to shovel chips into a bag. They were my chips. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24074) - you deserved it (3898)
On 12/22/2010 at 11:28am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral, and was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because my mum has cancer and I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39905) - you deserved it (2179)
On 12/19/2010 at 7:31pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was a bill from my parents. Apparently, the rent is due on the 1st. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23257) - you deserved it (2092)
On 12/18/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by Dopeboyfresh71 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21439) - you deserved it (2064)
On 12/18/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (9805)
On 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my toddler stood up in the shopping cart and fell giving himself a black eye. Later while at a restaurant he tried to stand up in his highchair. I quickly blurted out "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. Now the waiter wont stop glaring at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33282) - you deserved it (7641)
On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I met my boyfriend's very strict and traditional Korean parents. I had to listen to them while they called me a skank and how I was fat and ugly compared to nice, pretty, Korean girls. They don't know I speak Korean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39904) - you deserved it (2300)
On 12/12/2010 at 10:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)
Today, my mother called to uninvite me from Christmas, my ex-wife is going and she doesn't want it to be awkward for her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30521) - you deserved it (1876)
On 12/11/2010 at 8:55pm - misc - by kingkarnie - United States
Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26182) - you deserved it (2060)
On 12/07/2010 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)
Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18213) - you deserved it (4764)
On 12/04/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by chi-huaHUA - United States
Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18213) - you deserved it (4764)
On 12/04/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by chi-huaHUA - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up, and he came by to get his things while I was at work. When I got home I saw that the only thing he had taken was my cat. I only dated him for 5 months, I've had that cat for 14 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27000) - you deserved it (2430)
On 12/04/2010 at 12:20am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up, and he came by to get his things while I was at work. When I got home I saw that the only thing he had taken was my cat. I only dated him for 5 months, I've had that cat for 14 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27000) - you deserved it (2430)
On 12/04/2010 at 12:20am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8933) - you deserved it (19417)
On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States
Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26579) - you deserved it (1621)
On 11/25/2010 at 8:28am - misc - by Tom -
Monday 17 June 2013
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