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SHAMUS_the_WITTY

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY
  • Town/Country : South of the Mason-Dixon, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 August 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 5249
  • Number of comments : 375
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords

Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.

Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

#17911621
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20462) - you deserved it (15232)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Beeisc00l - Reserved

Today, a woman somehow managed to drop her wedding ring into the garbage at the fast food place where I work. I had to search through a full bag of half eaten food and soda to find it. FML

#17909071
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25023) - you deserved it (2238)

On 10/05/2011 at 1:28am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend decided to jump out of a moving car. I had to explain to the nice old lady who stopped that my friend who was convulsing on the ground wasn't on drugs, he's just really stupid. FML

#17903189
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22496) - you deserved it (2573)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:10am - misc - by dmanrique - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to find my first message on Facebook. When I was reaching the bottom, I saw a message from my old crush. It contained a paragraph confessing her love for me and asking me to write back. Don't know how I missed that one. FML

#17874875
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36089) - you deserved it (6587)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:57pm - love - by lostlove (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my co-workers agreed that I was the one causing the elevator to be over its weight limit. When I protested, saying that I only weigh around 150 pounds, one asked me if that included the weight of my wheelchair. They made me get out. FML

#17861695
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36852) - you deserved it (2546)

On 09/29/2011 at 3:34am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

#17857316
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13104) - you deserved it (38108)

On 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Hypocrisy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41016) - you deserved it (3192)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was introducing my American cousin to the peaceful English village I live in. Just as I was reassuring her that the people were very friendly and welcoming, a car drove past and pelted us with eggs. FML

#17811386
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19483) - you deserved it (2419)

On 09/23/2011 at 4:31am - misc - by egghead - United Kingdom

Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decided to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me for over an hour. "How about being fired?" FML

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

#17789217
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26999) - you deserved it (2142)

On 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#17742540
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29099) - you deserved it (2888)

On 09/14/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by jumpedjogger - United States (Georgia)

Today, while at the beach, my little brother's hat blew off. I chased after it before I completely lost sight and realized I was no match for the wind. I get back and he's wearing the hat. I chased a fucking trash bag for a mile thinking it was his hat. FML

#17729862
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17855) - you deserved it (7179)

On 09/12/2011 at 6:32pm - misc - by justhereforlaughs (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
572 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17233) - you deserved it (218375)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when a police officer started walking behind me with his dog. I sped up and tried to cross the road. He took this as suspicious and got the dog to take me to the floor. I've been afraid of dogs since I was 5. FML

#17702644
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30920) - you deserved it (3931)

On 09/09/2011 at 5:59am - animals - by D (man) - United Kingdom

Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML

#17688426
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33434) - you deserved it (8637)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:25pm - money - by BigMoney - United States (Ohio)



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