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SHAMUS_the_WITTY

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 August 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7547
  • Number of comments : 379
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords

Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.

Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's page activity

Visits<b>Melonxo</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 11:13pm<b>llamasbederpin</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 6:02pm<b>spencr</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:45pm<b>leonlee2002</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 10:37pm<b>thefavoredbrony</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 4:02pm<b>pumpkinpii</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:07am<b>coolio4120</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 11:31am<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 5:05pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 1:14pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 10:15am<b>callmefireman</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 1:28am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 6:54pm<b>higgy6969</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 2:55am<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 10:26pm<b>IgneelDragneel</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 3:31pm<b>coconutcocus</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 11:36pm<b>skyeyez9</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 10:50pm<b>xAttackAttackx</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 9:08pm

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's FML badges

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The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

#18553074
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30315) - you deserved it (2402)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML

#18542050
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47385) - you deserved it (2167)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:44am - work - by Sedici - United States

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22663) - you deserved it (7193)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML

#18488568
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29597) - you deserved it (3894)

On 12/11/2011 at 8:37pm - love - by wow (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48468) - you deserved it (7719)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend left me for my neighbor. Her name is Hope. She'd better "hope" I don't take a dump in her yard. FML

#18471784
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24880) - you deserved it (14558)

On 12/09/2011 at 9:48pm - misc - by queenlatifa101bebe (woman) - United States

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42143) - you deserved it (5129)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7787) - you deserved it (71035)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML

#18447491
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27715) - you deserved it (3511)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jackgrant (man) - Iran Islamic Republic of

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

#18444451
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11413) - you deserved it (43657)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43147) - you deserved it (3234)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, my boyfriend became convinced that I cheated on him, and broke up with me, saying he would "get me back." When I came home, I found his key on my counter and my cat missing. FML

#18381687
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27269) - you deserved it (3029)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by reallyupset (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

#18334722
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28222) - you deserved it (3695)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26759) - you deserved it (7945)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I bought weed for the first time. The dealer was an undercover cop. FML



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