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SHAMUS_the_WITTY

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY
  • Town/Country : South of the Mason-Dixon, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 August 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 5340
  • Number of comments : 375
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords

Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.

Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "sex". My son is 16. FML

#19453519
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21640) - you deserved it (3437)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:18am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

#19449472
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13134) - you deserved it (34882)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my apartment complex has no rules against having charcoal grills on the porch. So did the guy who lives below me. FML

#19449205
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13135) - you deserved it (1960)

On 04/11/2012 at 11:06am - misc - by Sios (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that my mother is extremely emotional when it comes to animal deaths when a bird flew into the window and died, and she insisted we have a funeral. FML

#19441830
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16378) - you deserved it (2817)

On 04/10/2012 at 7:13am - animals - by tay (man) - Australia

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

#19440536
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15558) - you deserved it (1738)

On 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm - animals - by Lee (woman) - United States

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

#19440053
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18498) - you deserved it (1943)

On 04/09/2012 at 10:51pm - health - by emoflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML

#19437878
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25598) - you deserved it (2380)

On 04/09/2012 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Madeline Lee (woman) - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

#19434352
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31522) - you deserved it (2906)

On 04/09/2012 at 1:15am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML

#19423040
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10970) - you deserved it (35545)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:27am - intimacy - by anonomous - United States

Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML

#19421919
386 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82680) - you deserved it (4004)

On 04/07/2012 at 4:20am - love - by ladylarni - Australia

Today, my wife and I went to our friend's house to play some pool. While playing, a Cicada started to fly towards my face, so I flipped my pool stick over and swatted at it with the fat end of the stick. I hit the bug. However, with the skinny side I hit myself in the snow-globes. FML

#19409453
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7186) - you deserved it (16589)

On 04/04/2012 at 10:50pm - misc - by Chris (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently on my honeymoon. FML

#19405525
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28195) - you deserved it (9949)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:53am - intimacy - by gordogs 25 - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went to McDonalds and ordered a happy meal with a girl's toy. The high school girls behind the counter said I was too old to be served one, and I had to go home and explain to my sick daughter why she didn't get her toy. FML

#19401139
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37142) - you deserved it (4355)

On 04/03/2012 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I met separately with the President and Chairman of the company regarding a product that I'm designing. Each ordered me to do the opposite of whatever the other instructed. FML

#19400552
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16514) - you deserved it (1452)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:10am - work - by beagle1 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, a guy in a fancy car tailed me for twenty minutes, just so he could take a picture of my license plate and tell me there's a $300 fine for flicking cigarette ashes out your window. FML

#19394810
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9004) - you deserved it (24959)

On 04/02/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada



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