About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords
Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.
Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8737) - you deserved it (27783)
On 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm - misc - by cadillacfrank - United States
Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30442) - you deserved it (6686)
On 07/23/2011 at 6:29am - misc - by tgd4444 (man) - Malaysia (Johor)
Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31995) - you deserved it (4367)
On 07/18/2011 at 11:17am - kids - by xBubbles38 - United States
Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32396) - you deserved it (2007)
On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)
Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46848) - you deserved it (7159)
On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)
Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23969) - you deserved it (8597)
On 07/11/2011 at 5:25am - kids - by Mothering (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, after spending 6 months and $15,000 on lawyer fees at my 13 year old son's request, his abusive, alcoholic father no longer has any legal right to see him. How did my son repay me? He ran away to live with his father the very first time I told him he couldn't have friends sleep over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35363) - you deserved it (6305)
On 07/10/2011 at 8:01pm - kids - by tomcat69 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27448) - you deserved it (4004)
On 07/07/2011 at 10:40am - love - by Junktown (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27448) - you deserved it (4004)
On 07/07/2011 at 10:40am - love - by Junktown (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend. We'd just got our food when my dad walks in, comes up to our table and says, "I didn't say you could leave, you're too young to be dating him", then drags me out of the restaurant. We are both 15, and it was my first date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35542) - you deserved it (10715)
On 06/28/2011 at 8:51pm - misc - by Fresca11 - United States (Illinois)
Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35654) - you deserved it (9706)
On 06/27/2011 at 2:26am - kids - by SheenaL (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32660) - you deserved it (11852)
On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, it was my first day at my new job. My new boss asked me if I was single. After telling him I have been happily married for 6 years, he fired me on the spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42043) - you deserved it (2549)
On 06/22/2011 at 1:35am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I had to go to a birthday party for 10 year old triplets. They've all been dead for more than 9 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32975) - you deserved it (4523)
On 06/20/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was yelled at by my mum for not wanting to get a spray tan for my cousin's wedding because if I don't, I will "shine like a beacon of disrespect" among the other attendees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24210) - you deserved it (2330)
On 06/16/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by vampire (woman) - United Kingdom (Wigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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