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SHAMUS_the_WITTY

Offline (yesterday at 9:10pm) | Search for a member

SHAMUS_the_WITTY

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 August 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9299
  • Number of comments : 392
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords

Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.

Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's page activity

Visits<b>WoldowJR</b> - 18 hours ago<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 8:42am<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:03am<b>Gwen4var</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 2:35pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 6:06pm<b>tonimari3</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:50pm<b>Jonny_Blaze0017</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:59am<b>Purrrvana</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 2:39pm<b>mintyowlgirl</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 7:29pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:36pm<b>turtlerae4</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:26pm<b>somebodywhocares</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:33am<b>vindown</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 9:02am<b>chipinn</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:47am<b>charethcutestory</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 12:36am<b>Ambrily</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:03pm<b>Bradley_Dillon</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:03pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:17pm

Liked!<b>WoldowJR</b> - 12 hours ago<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:06pm<b>mintyowlgirl</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:29am

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

#19937636
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5411) - you deserved it (47587)

On 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

#19917515
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13149) - you deserved it (24669)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)

Today, a woman asked why my daughter doesn't look remotely like me. I just smiled and shrugged it off, but the truth is that she looks exactly like I did before I got my botched plastic surgery. FML

#19905347
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7768) - you deserved it (36357)

On 07/07/2012 at 3:13pm - kids - by momolee (woman) - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, after backpacking acrossing Europe for a month, I picked up my dog from the doghouse. No one will listen to me or acknowledge the fact that he's now missing two toes. FML

#19895009
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32730) - you deserved it (2303)

On 07/05/2012 at 12:30pm - animals - by tagteam - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

#19873048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36526) - you deserved it (1680)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML

#19867923
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25178) - you deserved it (4180)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by fuckjuggalos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my son and I attended the funeral of a family friend. It went as well as any funeral could, up until the point that my apparently drunk son tried to grope the widow. I came an inch away from causing my son to need his own funeral. FML

#19834140
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22200) - you deserved it (2352)

On 06/23/2012 at 1:43pm - kids - by nosonofmine (man) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML

#19829657
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7308) - you deserved it (22697)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by hakura madada - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML

#19783803
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10487) - you deserved it (30186)

On 06/13/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Rebecca (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, neither of my parents fought for my custody. FML

#19763325
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51091) - you deserved it (3233)

On 06/10/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anon - United States

Today, a homeless guy grabbed me and started ranting that "the Mayans were right" or some shit. He was making about as much sense as Charlie Sheen outside of a padded cell, so I shoved him away. That's when he decided to pull a knife and chase me all the way to my car. FML

#19716436
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23627) - you deserved it (3774)

On 06/01/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by kay (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML

#19656531
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19393) - you deserved it (4604)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:11am - work - by Rebecca (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML

#19618137
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8157) - you deserved it (30664)

On 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm - misc - by smh (man) - United States (California)

Today, I ran for editor-in-chief of a magazine. I spent hours working on my speech, and offered a bunch of new ideas to increase readership. My opponent just said that she, "loved the organization". I lost by a 4-1 margin. My opponent later announced her plans for next year. They were all of my ideas. FML

#19602303
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27599) - you deserved it (1964)

On 05/10/2012 at 11:45am - misc - by PollingLow (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized I was getting a bit chubbier than usual. I decided to go for a little jog to stay in shape. Little did I know, my neighbors that just moved in brought along with them, a fully grown German Shepherd. Not tamed. My "jog" quickly turned into a "sprint for my life". FML

#19600497
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24460) - you deserved it (2548)

On 05/09/2012 at 11:34pm - misc - by I Don't Exorcise - United States (Oklahoma)



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