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SHAMUS_the_WITTY

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY
  • Town/Country : South of the Mason-Dixon, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 August 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 5218
  • Number of comments : 375
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords

Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.

Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML

#19597798
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15845) - you deserved it (1320)

On 05/09/2012 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I corrected someone who spelled "learned" as "learnt" on my favorite forum. Nothing could've prepared me for the torrent of abuse that followed from the non-American members. Now I'm banned for "trolling," and all my 7,000+ posts since 2006 are gone forever. FML

#19593515
454 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11839) - you deserved it (32166)

On 05/08/2012 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28071) - you deserved it (2843)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27497) - you deserved it (3264)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, my apartment was robbed by my landlord. Her logic? "I own the building, and therefore everything in it." That TV cost more than my rent. FML

#19572629
264 comments

Today, my apartment was robbed by my landlord. Her logic? "I own the building, and therefore everything in it." That TV cost more than my rent. FML

#19572629
264 comments

Today, my fiancé and I appeared in the paper for obtaining our marriage license. In the same column half way down his parents appeared for filing their marriage dissolution petition. FML

#19571944
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15566) - you deserved it (1407)

On 05/04/2012 at 3:19am - love - by Queen_Dread - United States (Washington)

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10141) - you deserved it (25806)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML

#19563224
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5595) - you deserved it (80665)

On 05/02/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by f*ck (man) - United States

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

#19554232
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7837) - you deserved it (52325)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I rear ended a cop while talking on my cell phone. FML

#19541631
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6153) - you deserved it (75370)

On 04/28/2012 at 10:31am - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to explain to a customer how our hotel charged his card even though he has never stayed with us. Apparently his wife is a regular customer. I can't help but feel like a home-wrecker. FML

#19541511
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28750) - you deserved it (1752)

On 04/28/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by Steve - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to explain to a customer how our hotel charged his card even though he has never stayed with us. Apparently his wife is a regular customer. I can't help but feel like a home-wrecker. FML

#19541511
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28750) - you deserved it (1752)

On 04/28/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by Steve - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking down the street, when an aging lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she had pickpocketed me of my wallet. FML

#19539590
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25289) - you deserved it (2029)

On 04/27/2012 at 9:55pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML

#19533059
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20435) - you deserved it (3036) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/26/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Magicgwen - Sent from mobile version



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