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SHAMUS_the_WITTY

Offline (the 01/26/2015 at 9:16pm) | Search for a member

SHAMUS_the_WITTY

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 August 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11040
  • Number of comments : 401
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords

Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.

Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's page activity

Visits<b>missa8604</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 9:49pm<b>elle113</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 2:28am<b>Candace7</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 2:08am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 3:36pm<b>Thtguy91</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 11:18am<b>randomperson5674</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 5:31pm<b>youngsparrow</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 2:46am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 12:23am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 9:41pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 8:41pm<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 2:35am<b>marcusaaaa</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 2:38am<b>Aquaman911</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 7:39am<b>_liam_72_</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 7:55pm<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 12:59pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 8:42am<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:03am<b>Gwen4var</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 2:35pm

Liked!<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:59pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:06pm<b>mintyowlgirl</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:29am

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments

Today, I arrived at work six minutes late due to heavily congested traffic. This is just two days after my boss put out a memo saying that anyone who's late to work from then until the new year will have their holiday bonus pay forfeited. FML

#20973886
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41483) - you deserved it (7706)

On 11/28/2013 at 5:03pm - work - by aaannnddd there goes my boner (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31108) - you deserved it (14753)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59676) - you deserved it (4310)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52448) - you deserved it (5466)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, my 8-year-old came home from school crying. Apparently her teacher told the whole class to write about how they felt when they learned that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy weren't real. FML

#20942077
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52965) - you deserved it (5249)

On 11/02/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by SantaClaus - United States (California)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86837) - you deserved it (6201)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45962) - you deserved it (4868)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, while I was working, someone came in and attempted to purchase GTA 5 with a medical marijuana card. FML

#20892589
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38161) - you deserved it (3043)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad and I had a yelling match about me "lying", because I was unable to contact iTunes support without a phone number. To prove a point, he went online to find the phone number. It's been an hour and he's still searching for the number. I can't leave the table until he has found it. FML

#20891277
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39780) - you deserved it (3180)

On 09/22/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by SeriouslyDad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

#20889450
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66050) - you deserved it (6388)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm - intimacy - by oops - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML

#20888238
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44960) - you deserved it (12466)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:47pm - work - by Jamie - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55089) - you deserved it (27650)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55089) - you deserved it (27650)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

#20868590
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49313) - you deserved it (2672)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:02am - animals - by GotMyBitchBack - United States (Ohio)



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