About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords
Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.
Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19882) - you deserved it (1904)
On 11/26/2012 at 6:11pm - misc - by ronboy - United States (Ohio)
Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19882) - you deserved it (1904)
On 11/26/2012 at 6:11pm - misc - by ronboy - United States (Ohio)
Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17438) - you deserved it (1541)
On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10119) - you deserved it (20365)
On 11/25/2012 at 5:38pm - love - by dumping time (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23460) - you deserved it (2546)
On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14182) - you deserved it (845)
On 11/25/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe
Today, my step-mom threw out some of the "boxes of junk" in my room, because apparently, I'm a pack rat. I guess she and everyone else in my family won't be receiving those Christmas presents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20816) - you deserved it (881)
On 11/25/2012 at 8:28am - money - by WritingWrongs - United States
Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the "other guy", he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous and trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19528) - you deserved it (1688)
On 11/25/2012 at 3:09am - love - by king400 - United States (California)
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26107) - you deserved it (9194)
On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14021) - you deserved it (2538)
On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17986) - you deserved it (3707)
On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19431) - you deserved it (1471)
On 11/20/2012 at 11:50pm - misc - by vanillatwilight2 (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23150) - you deserved it (3234)
On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)
Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18125) - you deserved it (3083)
On 11/19/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by ausmill12 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, after I spent two hours trying to teach my girlfriend to play sudoku, she broke up with me, tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake, imaginary game to make her feel stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25163) - you deserved it (2664)
On 11/18/2012 at 7:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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