About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords
Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.
Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML
I agree, your life sucks (7568) - you deserved it (17063)
On 12/31/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by offtothejobcentre (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32355) - you deserved it (2705)
On 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm - work - by shattysituation - United States
Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16359) - you deserved it (14673)
On 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by fuckinghicks (man) - United States
Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38216) - you deserved it (2970)
On 12/30/2012 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47079) - you deserved it (2632)
On 12/27/2012 at 11:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22697) - you deserved it (5546)
On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States
Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15136) - you deserved it (16972)
On 12/27/2012 at 1:46am - health - by pipefitter28 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24872) - you deserved it (1613)
On 12/24/2012 at 5:09am - misc - by heya - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33389) - you deserved it (2944)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, after nearly a week of awful pain in my right lung, I finally went to see a doctor about it. When I mentioned my history of lung problems and suggested it could be pneumonia, he told me to "leave the diagnosing to the professionals" and ended up claiming I have acid reflux. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17938) - you deserved it (4119)
On 12/21/2012 at 5:41pm - health - by fucking fuck it fucking hurts (woman) - United States
Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26836) - you deserved it (13117)
On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that the tinsel on my Christmas tree is worth a couple of hundred euros per strand. Well, that's how much the two that were surgically removed from my cat have cost me. At least the cat's going to be fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11473) - you deserved it (9054)
On 12/21/2012 at 5:02am - animals - by I Like My Cat (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, my house was broken into. The cop that came turned out to be a guy I fought over a girl with in high school. He sneered and said that everything appeared to be in order, and that I probably ransacked my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29106) - you deserved it (6633)
On 12/20/2012 at 6:19am - misc - by doblex (man) - United States
Today, the girl I dumped three years ago because she wouldn't take my band seriously is now a successful and rich environmental scientist. Meanwhile, I'm still unemployed, living with my parents, and can barely remember how to play a guitar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8197) - you deserved it (54994)
On 12/19/2012 at 10:26am - love - by rightinthekarma (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27176) - you deserved it (14067)
On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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