SHAMUS_the_WITTY

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Offline (the 04/04/2016 at 7:22pm)

SHAMUS_the_WITTY

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Arc, France
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 August 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 20030
  • Number of comments : 412
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SHAMUS_the_WITTY :
Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 6:56pm<b>random2212</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 10:38pm<b>courtly25</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 10:11pm<b>alecspangler</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 8:52pm<b>EwahWeeWah</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 9:18pm<b>DragonBorn69</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 1:16pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 6:18pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 6:06pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 6:32pm<b>THE_GLOW_CLOUD</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 12:23pm<b>UberMom</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 1:46am<b>AirplaneFan03</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 2:14pm<b>spicyburrito</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 12:47pm<b>Sunkkissed</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 8:57am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 8:38am<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 4:25am<b>Katdurin</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 3:36am<b>UncleCactus</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 3:26am

Fucked!<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 9:23am<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 7:00am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 12:34pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 3:28pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 7:32am<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:59pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:06pm<b>mintyowlgirl</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:29am

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of SHAMUS_the_WITTY's badges

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

by Apes / 03/25/2013 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2013 at 6:30am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 7:47pm / United States / Kids

Today, after I had changed my number to get away from my abusive ex, my mom decided to give him my new one. She insists that I need to give him another chance. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 4:15pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

by Hurrikhan / 03/23/2013 at 7:43am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Animals

Today, my grandson visited me, and asked if I had any pictures of myself from when I was a little girl. I happily looked for a few photos to give him, asking what had piqued his curiosity. He replied that he wanted some for a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 9:19pm / France (Lorraine) / Miscellaneous

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML

by SmallAngel / 03/21/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML

by me / 03/21/2013 at 6:25am / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML

by cheeseburglar_9000 / 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into an exam after having stayed up 20 straight hours studying. The professor looked at me and muttered, "Don't bother, I'm failing you either way." FML

by Tired / 03/20/2013 at 4:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, for the sixth time in a row, I was driving my kid to school and he made me late for work. Why? He was whacking off instead of getting ready. FML

by Why son, why? / 03/20/2013 at 7:07am / United States / Intimacy