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SHAMUS_the_WITTY

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 August 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10121
  • Number of comments : 400
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SHAMUS_the_WITTY : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfTheCowOverlords

Like it up, page I run (I'm Overlord). Satirical comedy, we're building a fanbase.

Shamus is the nickname I've had from my friends since I was 14 years old. I grew up in southern Alabama, and am attending college at LSU. IMHO, New Orleans is amazing

SHAMUS_the_WITTY's page activity

Visits<b>youngsparrow</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 2:46am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 12:23am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 9:41pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 8:41pm<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 2:35am<b>marcusaaaa</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 2:38am<b>Aquaman911</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 7:39am<b>_liam_72_</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 7:55pm<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 12:59pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 8:42am<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:03am<b>Gwen4var</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 2:35pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 6:06pm<b>tonimari3</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:50pm<b>Jonny_Blaze0017</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:59am<b>Purrrvana</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 2:39pm<b>mintyowlgirl</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 7:29pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:36pm

Liked!<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:59pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:06pm<b>mintyowlgirl</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:29am

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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SHAMUS_the_WITTY's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

#21316987
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31476) - you deserved it (2507)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

#21306254
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33905) - you deserved it (5342)

On 11/26/2014 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML

#21305050
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37918) - you deserved it (2883)

On 11/24/2014 at 8:44am - love - by ohwell (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML

#21294812
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17576) - you deserved it (33096)

On 11/08/2014 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31258) - you deserved it (2608)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34270) - you deserved it (12257)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33571) - you deserved it (4571)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa

Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML

#21270711
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42546) - you deserved it (8796)

On 10/04/2014 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by SadMother - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

#21252700
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44469) - you deserved it (2617)

On 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm - work - by crop circle galore - United States

Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

#21134321
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22239) - you deserved it (46187)

On 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by notbrowsingnow (man) - United States

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37157) - you deserved it (4091)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

#21126864
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42497) - you deserved it (5552)

On 04/30/2014 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was out drinking with some colleagues, when one started ranting about some pretty sensitive subjects. There were some Latino guys nearby, and as soon as he said "I'm not racist, but..." I tried to casually get the hell out of there. We all got the crap beaten out of us anyway. FML

#21122958
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39940) - you deserved it (6359)

On 04/25/2014 at 7:45pm - health - by fuck you, Jeff (man) - United States (Arizona)



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