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SGTcrazyBoy2000

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SGTcrazyBoy2000

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 305
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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SGTcrazyBoy2000's page activity

Visits<b>purple_lurple123</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:22pm<b>photographer49</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:48pm

SGTcrazyBoy2000's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of SGTcrazyBoy2000's badges

SGTcrazyBoy2000's favorite FMLs

Today, I explained to my sister that the reason she isn't getting job offers is probably because her résumé is in Comic Sans and contains TXT language and a lot of typos. She thanked me for my help by calling me a "clueless horse-fucker" and telling me to shut my mouth. FML

#21387066
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27050) - you deserved it (2011)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32865) - you deserved it (6570)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

#21371903
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34989) - you deserved it (3911)

On 03/10/2015 at 3:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29566) - you deserved it (3076)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

#21360123
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28454) - you deserved it (3762)

On 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm - animals - by tulisa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

#21315694
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35519) - you deserved it (4292)

On 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my ex-girlfriend started dating the guy she told me not to worry about when we dated. FML

#21288806
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34606) - you deserved it (3641)

On 10/31/2014 at 12:24am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36850) - you deserved it (3024)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51508) - you deserved it (4993)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, one of my customer's pipes were blocked. As I went to unblock it, about a handful of used condoms collided with my face. I don't know if I should be disgusted by this or disgusted by my customer. FML

#21231545
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44731) - you deserved it (3861)

On 08/07/2014 at 5:09am - intimacy - by failallday (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50843) - you deserved it (17114)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65537) - you deserved it (32822)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30407) - you deserved it (16233)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52703) - you deserved it (18606)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML

#21011242
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42635) - you deserved it (6207)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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