Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SGTcrazyBoy2000

Online | Search for a member

SGTcrazyBoy2000

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 364
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

SGTcrazyBoy2000's page activity

Visits<b>jfoxxy6</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 9:47pm<b>laurenhem</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 5:46pm<b>purple_lurple123</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:22pm<b>photographer49</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:48pm

SGTcrazyBoy2000's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of SGTcrazyBoy2000's badges

SGTcrazyBoy2000's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

#21428778
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20293) - you deserved it (12339)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30168) - you deserved it (2213)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, I explained to my sister that the reason she isn't getting job offers is probably because her résumé is in Comic Sans and contains TXT language and a lot of typos. She thanked me for my help by calling me a "clueless horse-fucker" and telling me to shut my mouth. FML

#21387066
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27119) - you deserved it (2013)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32918) - you deserved it (6579)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

#21371903
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35357) - you deserved it (3934)

On 03/10/2015 at 3:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29619) - you deserved it (3077)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

#21360123
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28513) - you deserved it (3768)

On 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm - animals - by tulisa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

#21315694
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35586) - you deserved it (4297)

On 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my ex-girlfriend started dating the guy she told me not to worry about when we dated. FML

#21288806
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36153) - you deserved it (3824)

On 10/31/2014 at 12:24am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36891) - you deserved it (3025)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51572) - you deserved it (4997)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, one of my customer's pipes were blocked. As I went to unblock it, about a handful of used condoms collided with my face. I don't know if I should be disgusted by this or disgusted by my customer. FML

#21231545
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44808) - you deserved it (3866)

On 08/07/2014 at 5:09am - intimacy - by failallday (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50887) - you deserved it (17130)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65634) - you deserved it (32866)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: