SAF

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SAF

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4288
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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SAF's page activity

Visits<b>Parkourlife20</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 1:43am<b>LoveNnyl</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 8:28pm<b>Captainapplez</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 9:19am<b>the_hungry_one</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:20pm<b>CloudBustah</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:17am<b>saf99me</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 8:29pm<b>Fireashes250</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 5:07pm<b>eschwab11</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 9:50am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:47am<b>uzer_name</b> - the 02/04/2010 at 8:48pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 11/02/2009 at 11:53am<b>tyedyetee95</b> - the 10/25/2009 at 3:17am<b>mari0958</b> - the 08/14/2009 at 10:18pm<b>Stephnesss</b> - the 07/19/2009 at 4:13pm<b>meme3</b> - the 07/12/2009 at 9:07pm<b>FML_user17</b> - the 07/12/2009 at 8:36pm

SAF's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

SAF's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML

by neuroticallyours / 11/12/2009 at 2:11am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, a girl I've liked for several years gave me her number. Finally, I worked up the courage to call her. It was a suicide help line. FML

by Kin / 10/25/2009 at 4:48pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

by screwwyou / 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

by screwwyou / 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

by screwwyou / 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML

by stupidtoothpick2 / 08/16/2009 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandfather was counting all the grandchildren he had and saying how fortunate he was to have all of us. When I pointed out that he'd forgotten to count me, he turned and said "You're adopted, you don't count as a real grandchild" FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 8:02am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, in an effort to seduce my husband, I laid in bed caressing myself. He walked in, looked at me, and said, "Is the ground beef in the freezer still good?" When I answered yes, he turned and walked out of the room. FML

by szinna / 06/07/2009 at 3:14pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, I was scolding my 8 year old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight A's like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair and when I asked why he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML

by tomandjerry / 05/21/2009 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML

by Salaryman / 02/15/2009 at 1:21am / Philippines (Rizal) / Work

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

by Mateo / 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm / Intimacy