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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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RusselFaraday

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RusselFaraday
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 128
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Today, I have a busy day of college work ahead of me. I figured I'd best have a good breakfast. Then I realised I'd completely ran out of food except for various types of sauces and condiments. So what am I having for breakfast today? That's right. A nice cup of Gravy. FML

#13416322 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (7454) - you deserved it (17786)

On 10/12/2010 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I learned that ice cubes do not cool down hot oil. Instead, it causes a massive explosion of hot grease to splatter all over my parents' kitchen. FML

#12248112 (376)

I agree, your life sucks (6400) - you deserved it (49887)

On 08/01/2010 at 4:24pm - misc - by manicmandy - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I realized if you leave a can of soda in parked car during a heatwave it will explode all over everything. My car is like a human glue trap. FML

#11895000 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (15628) - you deserved it (16693)

On 07/15/2010 at 5:31am - misc - by bigmikenyc - United States

Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML

#8968653 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (5768) - you deserved it (15349)

On 03/10/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by RyanM (man) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML

#8581671 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (3173) - you deserved it (43961)

On 02/23/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by nutcracker (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I opened the freezer for some Poptarts and a giant block of meat fell and broke my toe. FML

#8248979 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (16255) - you deserved it (4163)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by freakingow (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

#8153486 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (16097) - you deserved it (2348)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that our water tank has had a dead crow rotting in it for days. I took showers and brushed my teeth with dead crow soup. FML

#6165899 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (26982) - you deserved it (1827)

On 11/05/2009 at 10:26am - misc - by aqua88 (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a funny prank to put duct tape on my eyes while I was sleeping so that when I woke up, I would be blind. I have no more eyelashes. FML

#5848296 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (29847) - you deserved it (1785)

On 10/16/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by xXx (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

#5082348 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (47861) - you deserved it (6375)

On 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm - health - by Curt (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML

#3254274 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (35995) - you deserved it (7770)

On 06/26/2009 at 8:29pm - misc - by lifesmells - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

#1775863 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (30577) - you deserved it (17437)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:50am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML

#518 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (4335) - you deserved it (30785)

On 12/15/2008 at 12:36am - misc - by bip - Sent from mobile version