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Ruslando

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Ruslando
  • Town/Country : Loveland, usa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 August 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 1079
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Ruslando : I enjoy long walks in tha rain, then a long stay in tha hospital for pneumonia afterwards. I'm also known as the puppy clubber or the muffin man.

Ruslando's last visitors

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Ruslando's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Ruslando's favorite FMLs

Today, I had the most exciting dream of my life. I was dreaming about catching a shiny charmander. I'm 15, and instead of dreaming of girls, I'm dreaming of Pokémon. FML

#16909818
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24978) - you deserved it (12611)

On 06/29/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by wispywee - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

#14058038
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59572) - you deserved it (4679)

On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -

Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML

#13574162
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29876) - you deserved it (2689)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:21am - misc - by mzgabbster (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML

#13338032
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9959) - you deserved it (48972)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:37am - love - by crucets (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a spider crawling on my new roommate's cheek, so I told her to stand still so that I could flick it off. Several long seconds of flicking made me realize that it wasn't a spider at all. I had been flicking her hairy mole. FML

#13331304
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13403) - you deserved it (29235)

On 10/05/2010 at 5:01pm - animals - by jabba (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

#13274666
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24321) - you deserved it (5059)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:06am - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML

#13036561
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18368) - you deserved it (10709)

On 09/13/2010 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

#13027296
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35208) - you deserved it (5396)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm - intimacy - by nickim756 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33566) - you deserved it (9135)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, my roommate informed me that he took a bet to not shower or bathe until Christmas. The bet is for five bucks. FML

#12890603
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24777) - you deserved it (2122)

On 09/03/2010 at 8:11pm - misc - by stink (man) -

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy, when suddenly he pulled out and told me that "he had another fat chick meeting him in twenty minutes." FML

#12800426
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31805) - you deserved it (13851)

On 08/29/2010 at 3:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

#12768681
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38689) - you deserved it (4239)

On 08/27/2010 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I realized that it wasn't my science partner that smelled bad, it was me. How? The guy I have a crush on handed me a stick of deodorant and said, "Please use it." FML

#12764929
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9295) - you deserved it (22959)

On 08/27/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

#12753768
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12875) - you deserved it (45846)

On 08/26/2010 at 9:32am - intimacy - by H8TR (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends were all sharing sweet things their boyfriends had shared with them. After hearing "he says I look pretty without makeup" or "he promises we'll get married one day", I realized that the only compliment he's given me is that my laughter "sounds like a squirrel having a seizure." FML

#12552157
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26298) - you deserved it (4754)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:03am - love - by 86145 (woman) - United States (Texas)



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