Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Rulerray97

Online | Search for a member

Rulerray97

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 817
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Rulerray97 : Hey I'm Raymond, I'm 17, homeschooled, and a motherfucking TEXAS BOY BITCHES!!!! Proud and loud! If you have prematurely judged me based upon my looks and a short paragraph I wrote and have concluded that you don't like me then good for you ^_^ I'm proud of you. Now leave and go talk to the doctor about your enlarged ego ;) otherwise message me :) Kik or snapchat me @ ArlieF4
CASUAL CONVERSATION. No nudes.

Rulerray97's page activity

Visits<b>Cryptical</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 2:24pm<b>lifelikedat</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 2:33pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 2:12pm<b>mmtiki</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 1:36pm<b>juliapereth</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 1:25pm<b>Comet_Candy</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 4:01am<b>wryguy2765</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 10:05pm<b>bam1551</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 7:32pm<b>TdotMaria</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 8:12pm<b>pancakessdsjsn</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 3:08am<b>Rebles</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 3:52am<b>meganlovestea</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 3:42am<b>Kyra1</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 2:17am<b>EliPorter</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 1:44am<b>elmatador615</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 8:21pm<b>awiseman</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 7:22pm<b>zawesomee</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 4:03pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:14pm

Rulerray97's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of Rulerray97's badges

Rulerray97's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

#20788974
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54605) - you deserved it (17020)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by WasntMe - United States

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44280) - you deserved it (32398) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59498) - you deserved it (20986)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

#20784153
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50119) - you deserved it (3445)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by leeceetaylor99 - United States (Texas)

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML

#20782097
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47994) - you deserved it (16530)

On 07/14/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by peniswoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

#20777059
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62498) - you deserved it (10840)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

#20775966
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26011) - you deserved it (49173)

On 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57713) - you deserved it (6820)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99434) - you deserved it (11620)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

#20775513
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59113) - you deserved it (3665)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:26am - misc - by whowhat (man) - United States

Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML

#20775203
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49518) - you deserved it (5130)

On 07/10/2013 at 11:04pm - work - by Anonymous -

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

#20774202
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46851) - you deserved it (3306)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:33pm - misc - by my honest father - United States (Kansas)

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

#20773275
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27385) - you deserved it (45855)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States

Today, my aunt had the wonderful experience of hearing my boyfriend and I have a very "satisfying" encounter after we stupidly forgot to turn off the baby monitor. FML

#20772295
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30186) - you deserved it (45228)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by embarrassed niece (woman) - United States (Georgia)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: