Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Rulerray97

Online | Search for a member

Rulerray97

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1062
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Rulerray97 : Hey I'm Raymond, I'm 17, homeschooled, and a motherfucking TEXAS BOY BITCHES!!!! Proud and loud! If you have prematurely judged me based upon my looks and a short paragraph I wrote and have concluded that you don't like me then good for you ^_^ I'm proud of you. Now leave and go talk to the doctor about your enlarged ego ;) otherwise message me :) Kik or snapchat me @ ArlieF4
CASUAL CONVERSATION. No nudes.

Rulerray97's page activity

Visits<b>Clevelandians</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 9:06am<b>coco_is_a_starr</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 6:46pm<b>bcoe</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 9:46pm<b>Takeovermars</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 6:32am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:13pm<b>pbjforever</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 4:31pm<b>Creasy</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 3:29pm<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 2:29pm<b>ifunnyftw</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 12:52pm<b>kenjah</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 10:39am<b>iAmPaul</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 7:12am<b>keiNan</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 6:17am<b>heyyjessi</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 6:02am<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 5:35am<b>marulicko</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 5:20am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 4:34am<b>evillnoob</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 4:07am<b>totallylosing</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 10:49pm

Liked!<b>coco_is_a_starr</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:33am<b>Creasy</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 9:29pm<b>bigbertha22</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 3:50pm<b>MrsAlvesBelo</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 8:36pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 11:04pm

Rulerray97's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of Rulerray97's badges

Rulerray97's favorite FMLs

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML

#21285126
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34722) - you deserved it (7755)

On 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32236) - you deserved it (3363)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35576) - you deserved it (3733)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25851) - you deserved it (52082)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39749) - you deserved it (3580)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

#21261267
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36847) - you deserved it (3452)

On 09/19/2014 at 1:58pm - misc - by TuT (woman) - France

Today, while on the bus, a friendly-looking guy smiled at me, so I smiled back. He then pointed at my teeth and said, "You gonna get those fixed, or just keep them as a conversation starter?" FML

Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML

#21258867
88 comments

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

#21256772
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39215) - you deserved it (2566)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:05am - work - by Diachronic (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46903) - you deserved it (3803)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50725) - you deserved it (9747)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42134) - you deserved it (5973)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48503) - you deserved it (5594)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I wore a tank top for the first time in a few years. It turned out even worse than the last time. I got insulted by several people over my "Never say never" upper chest tattoo, which I got years ago, before the words ever became associated with a certain douchy Canadian pop "singer". FML

#21230914
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42229) - you deserved it (9156)

On 08/06/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by beaverfever (man) - Poland (Zachodniopomorskie)

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

#21222062
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53111) - you deserved it (6406)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: