About RuffianLivesOn : I love animals.
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RuffianLivesOn's favorite FMLs
Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML
by omgitserika / 11/18/2009 at 10:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, feeling like I needed to relax, I ordered room service at my hotel. When I was finished I went to put the tray outside not thinking about needing a key to get back in. I locked myself out of my room wearing happy face underwear in a $250 a night hotel. I had to go to the lobby to get a new key. FML
by Anonymous / 11/16/2009 at 12:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a karaoke bar that my girlfriend works at. I'm a halfway decent singer, so I picked out a song we both liked and decided to give it a go. Halfway through the song I sneezed, tripped, fell off the stage and knocked myself out in front of my girlfriend and fifty bar patrons. FML
by helluvasinger / 11/12/2009 at 6:00am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was doing my paper route. I throw the papers onto people's driveways while sitting on the back of my dad's truck. To be funny my dad decided to suddenly speed up, causing me to fall off the back of the truck, face first onto the road. He didn't realize I fell off and kept driving. FML
by Xero_316 / 11/05/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, I found out that my best friend and the guy I had a crush on for 2 years are getting married. The worst part is that they've been dating for 2 years in secret, and just came out about it now. I've been telling her for 2 years how much I like him, and she's encouraged me the whole time. FML
by Uknowwh / 11/03/2009 at 8:12pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my 7 year old brother decided that it would be fun to cut off my hair. I woke from a long nap after working the late shift, to about 15 inches of my long blonde hair all over my bed and floor. I now have bloody bald spots and really choppy hair about 3 inches long. He got away with it. FML
by baldygirl / 11/02/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML
by R / 10/28/2009 at 6:29pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Work
Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML
by Anonymous / 10/24/2009 at 6:27am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by Marcella / 10/24/2009 at 12:49am / United States (Washington) / Love
by Brinty / 10/24/2009 at 12:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by stick / 10/20/2009 at 12:05pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, while wearing my Navy Dress White Uniform, I decided to stop and help this attractive girl who was not feeling well. Without warning, she blew chunks all over my "Whites". I have a uniform inspection later this afternoon. FML
by mnavy / 09/28/2009 at 12:24pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, the gas station right in front of my apartment had people listening to loud music all night. I have this 3 hour test at 7:30am and didn't get any sleep. Worst of all, here in Brazil, calling the police won't help a thing. Instead of actually helping, they'll stop and join the party. FML
by stupidpolicia / 09/25/2009 at 4:33am / Brazil (Distrito Federal) / Miscellaneous
by GirlFromAus / 09/25/2009 at 4:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by scaredtosleep / 09/24/2009 at 5:50am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous