About RuffianLivesOn : I love animals.
RuffianLivesOn's FML badges
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
RuffianLivesOn's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/21/2010 at 10:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids
by fme / 12/08/2010 at 9:34am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Username / 12/01/2010 at 2:04pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML
by everythingWASperfect / 11/13/2010 at 9:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, a hummingbird somehow got into my house. I spent two and a half hours trying to get it out after finally using a blanket to catch it. I run outside to release it from my hands, and it flew back into my house. FML
by Anonymous / 10/27/2010 at 12:17pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I found out that I have a gluten allergy. What this basically means is that I can't eat anything with wheat in it; bread, pasta, cake, you name it. I am Italian, this basically limits me from eating any of the awesome food my family makes almost every night. Here I come plain rice. FML
Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML
by meegs / 10/16/2010 at 8:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 12:22pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, my cousin and his fiancée took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 7:45pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 9:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by hospital / 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm / United States (New York) / Work
by Pr unlucky / 10/02/2010 at 4:07am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
Today, there were a few loud and annoying kids running around my store. My coworker and I started talking and I jokingly stated "Yeah, kids ruin everything." But before I could get out "God knows I'm not ready to be a dad," my phone rang. It was my one night stand. I'm going to be a daddy. FML
by Anonymous / 09/24/2010 at 7:25am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML
by Anonymous / 09/17/2010 at 2:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To… Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I… Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my…