About RuffianLivesOn : I love animals.
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RuffianLivesOn's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
by BRELLA / 02/03/2009 at 2:58pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML
by wtf / 02/02/2009 at 10:28pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Nikki / 02/02/2009 at 7:56am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by iFail / 01/29/2009 at 12:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Ohai / 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, I had lunch with a couple of my friends and a guy I like. Another guy I have a crush on came and ate with us too. After lunch, one of the guys I have a crush on told me the other guy I like is sexy. FML
by dexter / 01/15/2009 at 10:07am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML
by Explicit / 01/13/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by Noname / 01/11/2009 at 2:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by Wreet / 01/11/2009 at 10:50am / United States (California) / Love
Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML
by depraved / 01/08/2009 at 6:21am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, I was baby-sitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two hour struggle, I finally manage to get them into bed. I then ask them what they want before going to sleep, and the eldest replies: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML
Today, we had some family over. A nasty need to wank seized me when I saw her: my 17-year-old cousin. I went to my parents' unoccupied bedroom. My sister's baby walkie-talkie was switched on, and the whole family heard me. FML
- Today, I just found out I am pregnant by my abusive drug addict Ex who I broke up with 2months ago.… Today, I drove my girlfriend to take her on the first date out of the house we've had since she got… Today, I was told I'd need thousand-pound surgery to correct my spinal issue. Tomorrow, my medical…