About RuffianLivesOn : I love animals.
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RuffianLivesOn's favorite FMLs
by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money
by skidmark / 12/08/2011 at 9:48am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML
by Notadrinkanddriveidiot / 12/07/2011 at 9:46am / United States / Miscellaneous
by jackgrant / 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm / Iran Islamic Republic of / Miscellaneous
by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals
by Henry / 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Intimacy
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
by ricksterile / 10/28/2011 at 8:44pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML
by me / 10/22/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Maine) / Kids
by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/02/2011 at 11:29pm / United States / Work
Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML
by btchzloveit / 09/29/2011 at 8:27am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML
by Yuuucky / 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, while resting in bed, I felt a slight tickle on my neck. Thinking it was a cockroach, I panicked and flung it across the bedroom. Turns out it was my brand new necklace, which is now broken into dozens of pieces. FML
by deee21 / 09/24/2011 at 4:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I was watching horror stories alone in my room. It got to the climax of the story and my cat… Today, I got braces. When I showed my mom, she said, "At least you'll lose weight because you can't… Today, I learned the hard way that my parents leave the baby monitor in my room when my boyfriend…