About RubixMonkey : Please call me Ami. I am not going to tell you my real name, but this is my nickname.
"Overies!"
"Breasts!"
"High Heels!"
"Leading Guys On!"
"No Valuable Opinions!"
"Go Girls!"
"By yo' powers combined, I be Captain Sexist!"
Captain Sexist, he's like Nero
Gonna take suffragists down ta zero
He's our powers minimized
And he sure ain't fighting on our side
Captain Sexist, he's like Nero
Gonna take suffragists down ta zero
Kinda makes you wonder
About this bad pimp who like ta loot an' plunder
"You'll never understand us Captain Sexist!"
We're the Female Race
You can be one too
'Cause being undervalued is the thing ta do!
Thinking an' complaining is not the way
Hear what Captain Sexist has ta say!
"Your Power is mine!"
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was using the only stall left in a public restroom; a handicap stall. As I sat down to do my business, I felt something warm dripping down my leg. I looked down to see me urinating on myself through the raised seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6021) - you deserved it (21300)
On 10/30/2009 at 9:36pm - misc - by JynxQueen - Sent from mobile version
Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38293) - you deserved it (1669)
On 10/27/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, some thug tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves and told a cop that I did it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45586) - you deserved it (1702)
On 10/20/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by BobbyHutchinson (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I told my girlfriend of eight months that if she didn't start taking my band's music seriously, we couldn't see each other anymore. She said fine, and I hugged her, but then she stood up and said 'I hope we can still be friends,' and walked out the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6653) - you deserved it (49422)
On 10/20/2009 at 2:51am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my manager mentioned that she'd hired a "cute boy" to help me out at work with paperwork. The "cute boy" was my ex-fiancé and now I have to be with him in an office for 30 some hours a week while his current fiancée brings him lunch everyday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37165) - you deserved it (2077)
On 10/19/2009 at 3:37pm - love - by Alyssa (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, working my pizza delivery job, I got a $45 parking ticket for parking in a no stopping zone. I argued with the bylaw enforcement officer, but no luck. I was so pissed, I yelled at him: "You have the worst job in the world", to which he replied: " Buddy, you deliver pizza!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7069) - you deserved it (36326)
On 10/18/2009 at 9:39am - work - by nick (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my 5 year old daughter came back from a playdate at her new friend's house. Apparently, while she was there, her friend taught her a new way to get anything she wanted. That would be holding her breath until she passes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31237) - you deserved it (2193)
On 10/18/2009 at 9:36am - kids - by Pleasebreathe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35321) - you deserved it (1730)
On 10/18/2009 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Norrbottens Lan)
Today, it was the elections for Student Council President. I decided to be nice and vote for the only other competitor because it was her birthday. I lost by one vote. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12849) - you deserved it (34352)
On 10/18/2009 at 8:25am - misc - by presidont (woman) - Switzerland
Today, I cheated at card games to let my boyfriend win. I did it because I don't like him to throw the cards at me when I win. Now he just thinks I'm 'so slow a turtle could kick my ass' and that he has 'a cute little bubbly spud-brained girlfriend.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (11770) - you deserved it (24656)
On 10/18/2009 at 7:30am - misc - by cheat - United States (Texas)
Today, I got asked to Homecoming by the person I really like. I said yes and I was really excited. But my best friend who has liked me since the 6th grade wasn't. He went and broke my date's jaw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31985) - you deserved it (6032)
On 10/17/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by AdriBAMF - United States (Oregon)
Today, my younger sister's dog broke its leg. The vets are closed today so instead of going on a date with a girl I have been trying to get for at least 2 years, I need to carry an 80 lb. dog that hates me, up and down the stairs. I already got bit twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20856) - you deserved it (2148)
On 10/15/2009 at 6:14pm - animals - by Noname (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I received a call from a collection agency. Since I had no clue, I was ready to file a police report for stolen identity. I then called my mom only to find out she has been opening new credit cards with my information for 3 years and not paying them. My credit is ruined and I'm only 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32505) - you deserved it (1263)
On 10/12/2009 at 7:32pm - money - by thafinest (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was in a bad mood after being stuck in traffic for 2 hours and late for work. I was walking to my building when I saw a 100 dollar note flying my way. A man called after me for it, but being selfish I took the note in my pocket as a little reward. That man was my boss. Yes, I'm fired. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5259) - you deserved it (48509)
On 10/10/2009 at 12:30pm - money - by horniness (man) - Hong Kong
Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50738) - you deserved it (1023)
On 08/27/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by LizP40 (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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