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RubberChicken14

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RubberChicken14
  • Town/Country : 'murica
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 244
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About RubberChicken14 : i'm obsessed with pewdiepie, banana bread, eminem, and pizza. oh, and puns. i am the queen of puns and hashtags.

i am not a troll but damn my comments get a lot of thumbs-down.

i want to be in the financial industry.

yup. that's pretty much it.

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RubberChicken14's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband cracked a "rectum? damn near killed him" joke at my grandfather's funeral. He had genuinely spoken without thinking, but his quick gasp and "Oh shit" sounded quite sarcastic. We were both kicked out. My family thinks I put him up to the whole thing. FML

#21062405
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36547) - you deserved it (3839)

On 02/16/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by shanti (woman) -

Today, I opened up a snapchat from my best friend. I received a full and detailed view of her and her boyfriend having sex. All I wanted to know was how her Valentine's Day dinner went. FML

#21060866
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43845) - you deserved it (6693)

On 02/14/2014 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by waymoreiwanted (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45014) - you deserved it (15886)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

#21057121
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45656) - you deserved it (7506)

On 02/11/2014 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, a customer asked me to unlock the restroom for them. I honestly couldn't figure out which gender they were, but I didn't want to be rude and ask, so I took a chance. I unlocked the wrong one. FML

#21056381
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42113) - you deserved it (4717)

On 02/10/2014 at 3:48pm - work - by elizabethkalyn (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I accidentally asked the cashier at Wendy's how much their 99 cent chicken nuggets were. I guess he is still laughing at me. FML

#21056193
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34511) - you deserved it (17748)

On 02/10/2014 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

#21056009
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38958) - you deserved it (6563)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by aarong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML

#21054738
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45334) - you deserved it (4386)

On 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by O_o - United States (California)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42472) - you deserved it (7548)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41594) - you deserved it (8934)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

#21051812
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42659) - you deserved it (12100)

On 02/05/2014 at 10:39pm - misc - by tigerisabelle (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

#21050614
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36192) - you deserved it (6498)

On 02/04/2014 at 8:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

#21048665
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36795) - you deserved it (13612)

On 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by Sad Student - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

#21048300
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38988) - you deserved it (9481)

On 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm - animals - by foops (woman) - United Kingdom



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