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RubbarDuckie's favorite FMLs
by drakx88 / 03/06/2009 at 12:11pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I went on a blind date that my sister had set up. When I arrived at the coffeeshop, I approached a man waiting by the counter, asking if his name was Tim (my date's name). He looked at me and said no and then left with a drink clearly labeled "Tim" in bold letters. FML
by oprahahaha / 03/01/2009 at 11:20pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 10:30am / United States (Michigan) / Work
by Jello / 02/25/2009 at 9:23pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I was interviewing a cute guy for my journalism class, and he asked to borrow my laptop to check his email quickly. After the interview, I realized that the last thing I had searched for on my browser's Google box was "ingrown pubic hairs," and it was still up there. FML
by loserface / 02/23/2009 at 5:50pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Noname / 02/20/2009 at 12:30am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work
by Offended / 02/19/2009 at 2:09am / United States (New York) / Health
Today, the priest was handing out red roses after church. The woman ahead of me asked for a rose. The priest said, "Sorry, we are only giving them out to single women since they didn't get any for Valentine's Day." Then he hands one to me. This was the first time I have been to that church. FML
by KC / 02/17/2009 at 6:44pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear ending the person in front of me. FML
by prettyinpurple / 02/09/2009 at 11:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know". FML
by iamnotfat / 02/06/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met at a speed dating event. He recommended the lamb shank, which I ordered without looking at the menu. When the waiter took my order, my date said, "wait, the lamb is $27, why don't you get the chicken". He then ordered the lamb for himself. FML
by bettysue / 02/06/2009 at 10:37am / United States (California) / Love
by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Noname / 02/04/2009 at 12:04pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Rachel / 02/02/2009 at 5:00pm / United States (California) / Work
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…
- Today, I got bitched at for 6 hours on a roadtrip by my mother. I asked her not to smoke while my 4… Today, My dad had not had the chance to be with us on Fathers day so we simply had a breakfast for… Today, my parents grounded me from anything remotely fun. How come? Because I got a 100% on my math…