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Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14889) - you deserved it (4770)
On 02/21/2010 at 6:52am - intimacy - by foutu - Sent from mobile version
Today, I learned the hard way that my foundation shows up under a black light. At a black light party. No one told me until afterwards. Everyone took pictures. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15579) - you deserved it (3082)
On 02/20/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by makeuuuuup (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my girlfriend of two years called me, drunk, telling me how much anal sex hurts with some other guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19266) - you deserved it (1558)
On 02/20/2010 at 1:04am - intimacy - by VahnSeiro (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23723) - you deserved it (3611)
On 02/19/2010 at 3:36pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I went on a date with a cute guy. After picking me up, he started to play on repeat, and sing to me, 'Happy Together' by The Turtles. For the entire 20 minute ride. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15687) - you deserved it (2490)
On 02/13/2010 at 3:49am - love - by girlie5445 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was fired from my job. Why? Because my boss has been dating my newly divorced mother, and he didn't want family get-togethers to be "awkward." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20725) - you deserved it (1229)
On 02/12/2010 at 7:22pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall asleep, but I took my mother through a list of all the men I've slept with. I do not remember a thing, but apparently I was very thorough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16617) - you deserved it (4091)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:42pm - misc - by tammyg - United States
Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35350) - you deserved it (2226)
On 02/11/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Biological (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18458) - you deserved it (5027)
On 01/25/2010 at 12:33am - love - by Phoenix0614 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I talked to my ex on AIM after not speaking to her since we broke up two years ago. The conversation lead up to her asking how I feel about her. So I poured my heart and soul out to her, because I still love her. She immediately logged off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12072) - you deserved it (20895)
On 01/21/2010 at 8:10am - love - by JCruz411 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my older brother and I were teasing our mom about her age. When we jokingly told her it was hard for us to watch our parents get old, she responded by saying "yeah, well, it's hard for me to watch my kids grow up and not have anyone who wants to marry them". FML
I agree, your life sucks (5311) - you deserved it (30535)
On 01/20/2010 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my anxiety disorder has escalated to where I now scratch and pick at my face while asleep. Now I get to sleep with oven mitts taped to my hands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22024) - you deserved it (1888)
On 01/15/2010 at 7:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24021) - you deserved it (4838)
On 01/04/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by kady (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24529) - you deserved it (1659)
On 01/01/2010 at 2:14pm - misc - by johnny121 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26595) - you deserved it (2540)
On 12/25/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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