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Today, I had a date with a guy from the Internet. I'm 6ft1, which tends to put potential dates off, so I'd slyly knocked a few inches off my description. Turns out he'd done the same. He'd added a whole foot to his height. I had to crouch to talk to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13795) - you deserved it (8635)
On 09/14/2012 at 4:26am - love - by TallGal (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27543) - you deserved it (1471)
On 09/14/2012 at 1:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16452) - you deserved it (1374)
On 09/13/2012 at 8:37am - misc - by Sprtsgeek13 - United States (Maine)
Today, I figured out how serious my weight problem really is when my boyfriend had to lift a fat roll before he could enter me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9219) - you deserved it (36901)
On 09/11/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by gemma - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, after my annoying neighbor who used to spend hours playing the cello in the apartment below me finally moved out, I found out that I have a new musical neighbor moving in. This fellow plays the bagpipes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15597) - you deserved it (1618)
On 09/11/2012 at 2:11am - misc - by PissedbythePiper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I spent five minutes sitting in my car, panicking and tearing my purse apart because I couldn't find my keys. I then found them. They were in the ignition, and the car was running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4709) - you deserved it (17218)
On 09/10/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by mrs14 - United States
Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15804) - you deserved it (1709)
On 09/10/2012 at 8:42pm - misc - by CaptainSaveAHoe (man) - United States (California)
Today, while trying to change my visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart. So much for changing her opinion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11721) - you deserved it (2335)
On 09/10/2012 at 8:48am - misc - by liquidknight - United States
Today, I was cycling with my uncle and became increasingly frustrated as we got further and further from our intended destination. It took me a while to figure out that I had somehow lost my uncle and was following a complete stranger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7108) - you deserved it (13593)
On 09/10/2012 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, the girl I've secretly loved for years finally noticed me. That is, after I ran over her foot with my truck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14031) - you deserved it (4359)
On 09/10/2012 at 12:26am - love - by Disappointed (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was talking to an art critic at an exhibition. He told me that the artist had no talent and went on to tell me everything wrong with each painting. I'd painted them all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15195) - you deserved it (1619)
On 09/09/2012 at 8:12pm - work - by the bad artist - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I walked downstairs with a couple of bags full of stuff, in preparation for a sleepover at my friend's house. My nine-year-old cousin looked at me and said, "Where're you going? Fat camp?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13293) - you deserved it (2320)
On 09/09/2012 at 1:02pm - health - by Char (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)
I agree, your life sucks (16817) - you deserved it (3189)
On 09/09/2012 at 4:34am - love - by JB (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14066) - you deserved it (9237)
On 09/08/2012 at 3:16pm - misc - by dating a fucking idiot (woman) - United States
Today, I got into an argument with my mom over her sexist, emotionally-abusive boyfriend. I told her that either he goes or I go. She called me a disrespectful bastard for not respecting my "new father." I'm now sitting outside a McDonald's with my suitcase, leeching their WiFi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26307) - you deserved it (1647)
On 09/08/2012 at 1:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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